The Wedding Afternoon
by WadeH
Summary: Ever wonder what happened during the ever-important interval between the wedding breakfast and the wedding night? Let's find out. (Novella Complete)
1. Rosings

_A/N: Welcome back to my loyal readers and a hearty welcome to new ones._

 _This is yet another writing experiment where I smash one of my cardinal rules to pieces and see if anything survives. I didn't invent this style, but it's not common. I have felt myself quite in your debt for some dialogue after Letters from Cheapside, which was a completely dialogue free zone. Hopefully this little experiment will even the scales a bit. _

_I intend this to be a short story around 6-7 chapters of widely varying length (some 5k words, some 1). Somewhat uncharacteristically I had the entire story in my head before I even started writing, but there's no guarantee I'll write the one I envisioned._

 _I'm on vacation at with my family in Spain, so I should get this one out before the new year. Let's see where it goes._

 _As always, reviews and PMs either make my day or make me an even more insufferable man – you decide which._

 _Wade_

* * *

 ** _Rosings – Jan 1812_**

* * *

"Your husband is dead, Mrs. Collins!"

" **Dead?** "

"Yes ma'am"

"Really dead?"

"Yes ma'am"

"Truly dead?"

"Yes ma'am"

"How dead?"

"I am only a coachman madam, but I believe _it is universally acknowledged_ that there is only one kind of dead."

"My pardon, Mr. Thornton. You are quite correct, but I meant something more like, 'how long has he been dead'?"

"I know very little of these things Madam. It seems likely it has been a few hours, but I could easily be wrong. I presume you have been asleep for some time?"

"Since just before the last stop to bait the horses… I guess it does not really matter in the end. Is this the parsonage?"

"Yes ma'am"

"I know not what to do… Perhaps you could take me to Rosings. I imagine Lady Catherine de Bourgh will wish to know what has happened, since she apparently controls everything else in this county. Mayhap she can advise me."

"Are you certain you wish to travel with… well, with er… him… er… that is… er…"

"I understand your concern Mr. Thornton. How far is Rosings?"

"A half-mile madam. It will take a quarter-hour."

"I do not mind, as I am not particularly missish. It seems unlikely he will become more nor less dead in that time, and to be frank, he wasn't all that lively to start with. I have already shared a coach with… it… for several hours. Another quarter hour will do no harm."

"Are you certain you would not like me to remove er… him?"

"Do not trouble yourself. It seems just as likely Lady Catherine would make you come right back for the body, and for all I know she will want to inspect it."

"As you say, Mrs. Collins"

"I do thank you for your solicitude, Mr. Thornton. You are an excellent coachman."

"I do not consider this my most successful trip. I usually deliver my charges alive."

"Not your fault, Mr. Thornton. Not your fault. These things are bound to occur from time to time."

"Yes, I imagine so. Thank you, ma'am. Shall we to Rosings."

"Perhaps I could ride up with you? I have never done so. It seems diverting and I have a convenient excuse."

"I am at your disposal madam."

"I thank you, Mr. Thornton. Let us be off."

* * *

" _Mrs. Collins, my lady_ "

" **Mrs. Collins?** "

"Yes ma'am"

" ** _Just_** Mrs. Collins."

"Yes ma'am"

"By herself?"

"Yes ma'am"

" _Extraordinary!_ Show her in."

"Yes ma'am"

* * *

"Good evening, your ladyship."

" _You are Mrs. Collins?_ Come over where I can see you. Since there is nobody here to perform introductions, I shall take up the office. I am Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and this is my daughter Anne."

"A pleasure your ladyship. Delighted to meet you Miss de Bourgh. I am Elizabeth Collins."

"You appear to be _a very genteel, pretty kind of girl_ , Mrs. Collins. I assume you are here to pay your respects as is proper, but I am curious as to _why_ you feel the need to do so on your wedding night? That seems overly deferential, even for Mr. Collins… and come to think of it… speaking of your wedding night… where is your husband? I might have expected him to call on me today, but not you."

"Therein lies the difficulty, Lady Catherine. I come to you for advice. It appears that my husband is dead, and his body is sitting in the coach that you so graciously provided for our transportation."

" **Dead?** "

"Yes ma'am, dead!"

" **Dead, you say?** "

"Yes ma'am, dead!"

"In my coach?"

"Yes, my lady."

"Really dead?"

"Yes ma'am"

"How dead?"

"We seem to think similarly, Lady Catherine. That was my first, or well, possibly my third question. Mr. Thornton, though he claims to be a mere coachman, seems quite knowledgeable when he asserts there is truly only one kind of dead. Having done extensive reading in my father's book room, I believe I must concur with him. If you require more details, I could add that he appears to be completely dead, thoroughly dead and absolutely dead."

"You seem a bit impertinent, Mrs. Collins."

"My apologies Lady Catherine. I would like to blame it on my upset over riding the last several hours with a corpse in your coach, but I fear you will find I am that way most of the time anyway. At any rate, he apparently has been dead for several hours but I did not notice, as I was asleep."

"Asleep, you say… on your wedding day."

"Yes, My lady. I can assure you that had I been awake, I would have detected his death when he stopped talking for thirty seconds, since that would be the only possible explanation for his silence."

 _"Upon my word, you give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person."_

"My apologies, Lady Catherine. I meant no offense."

"Oh, I am not offended. Amused would be closer to the mark. Tell me Mrs. Collins, do you assert that sleep would _not_ be a good explanation for your late husband's silence?"

"No, ma'am. I believe I tested that theory on the first part of the journey, and I can assure you that a sleeping William Collins was very little quieter than his waking counterpart."

"That is shockingly impertinent, Mrs. Collins."

"My apologies, Lady Catherine."

"I must say, I like you Mrs. Collins… impertinence and all"

"Thank you, Lady Catherine. I like you as well. You are not at all what I expected from the descriptions I got from Mr. Collins, although I must confess that I would find any similarity between Mr. Collins' description of just about anything the world and the actuality to be almost entirely coincidental, so it is not that surprising."

"Even more impertinence! I imagine you are wondering what to do next?"

"Yes, your ladyship. I assume you will know how to deal with the mortal remains, but I know not what else to do. Might I stay in the parsonage for some time until you get a new rector, or perhaps you could guide me to some lodgings in the village? I do not have very much coin, but enough for a time. I will also beg of your indulgence to help me find some type of employment or situation. I believe governess or companion are the traditional employments for those in my position."

" ** _You do will do no such thing_** _!_ _You must stay here with us_. Anne will find your acquaintance most stimulating I believe."

"Oh yes, Mrs. Collins… You must stay here. My cousin Georgiana is the only other woman close to my age that I know well, but she is 10 Years my junior and she only visits once or twice per year. Please say you will stay, at least for a time. You are to be in mourning for a year, so you should spend it here. You will be most welcome."

"I thank you. This honor is most unexpected. You are quite generous Miss de Bourgh and Lady Catherine."

"Think nothing of it Mrs. Collins. I am the executor for your husband's will anyway, so I will need to keep you close so I may attend to the matter properly. It will take at least a month to sort it all out. I am very attentive to my responsibilities. I shall send for my solicitor on the morrow, and we shall begin."

"I thank you, Lady Catherine. It is much more than I have a right to expect. I am very much in your debt."

"Might I make an observation, Mrs. Collins?"

"Of course, Lady Catherine."

"You do not seem overly distraught over the death of your husband."

"May I speak frankly?"

"Of course. I am celebrated for my frankness, and I expect no less from members of my household. Pray continue."

"It was a marriage arranged over my objections, my lady. My mother pressed the suit most vigorously, and my father eventually overrode my sixth denial of Mr. Collins' suit, most likely just to shut her up. Then my mother and three of my sisters relentlessly hounded me for a fortnight to get me to marry him. I finally acquiesced when my father threatened to throw me out into the hedgerows, and my formerly favorite eldest sister joined the maddening throng. It turned out they all preferred me as the sacrificial lamb to themselves; a sensible enough attitude, but not one designed to promote sisterly affection."

"My word! Why would they do such a thing?"

"My father's estate was entailed on Mr. Collins, as you know. Even my beloved aunt and uncle Gardiner encouraged me to accept my fate and find a way to learn to live with it once my father put his foot down for the first time in his life; and I could wish he had acquired a backbone either earlier or later in the process. I am not of age for several months so I have no legal remedies. I eventually acquiesced, but by the time I got to the church I was looking at the hedgerows with envy. However, the die was cast and it was too late to run away. Frankly, I feel like I have just dodged a bullet."

"An interesting analogy for a gently bred lady, Mrs. Collins. Somewhat shocking I must say, but interesting."

"I am not the ordinary sort of female, your ladyship. My father educated me more like a son than a daughter. It is either to my creditor my chagrin, but that remains to be seen. However, since I am now a widow for the foreseeable future, I imagine it is not of very much import. I shall simply seek employment sooner rather than later."

"Does that mean you have no intentions of returning to your father's house, Mrs. Collins?"

"You assume correctly Lady Catherine. I would willingly live in the hedgerows or become a governess or companion before that. I am quite finished with my family, and you seem like the type of lady who could assist me in finding a position; unless I am very much mistaken."

"I believe we can find some better occupation for you than that, Mrs. Collins. Let us get through your year of mourning first. You must be tired from the long journey. Anne will accompany you to your room, and I shall see you at breakfast."

"I am in your debt, Lady Catherine!"

"You are, Mrs. Collins… but do not distress yourself. I will collect in due time, but it shall not be too onerous. You owe me some amusement."

"I shall happily pay my dues in that matter, your ladyship, but might I ask one more boon?"

"Of course."

"Please do not call me Mrs. Collins. If you do not object to some informality, I would desire that you call me by my given name most of the time. Please call me Elizabeth or Eliza. I used to go by Lizzy to my family, but I do not wish to be reminded of them right at this moment."

"And how long will 'this moment' last, Elizabeth."

"I imagine somewhere between a year and until the end of time."

"We shall comply happily, Eliza. I should beg you call me Anne."

"I am not quite the stick in the mud people think I am, although Eliza might be a bit too far for me. I shall call you Elizabeth."

"Thank you, my lady. Shall we see my room now Anne?"

"Follow me, Eliza!"

* * *

 ** _Rosings - Feb 1812_**

* * *

"Good morning, Lady Catherine. I trust you had a pleasant sleep. I must thank you for your hospitality once again. The last month has been lovely, and Anne nearly walked to the parsonage yesterday. She will be walking for miles in no time, and I heartily approve of your idea of giving her a season later in the year."

"Good morning, Elizabeth. I very much approve of the new mourning clothes. They suit you."

"Did you doubt yourself when you ordered them, Lady Catherine?"

" **Never!** "

"As expected. Thank you once again for the dresses. They are lovely."

"Elizabeth, my solicitor has obtained the will and all of the other information about your late husband, and I have a surprise for you."

"Do tell, I beg you."

"You are not _quite_ as poor as a church mouse anymore. Much to my surprise, Mr. Collins had some money saved that he inherited from his father, and he just inherited from another obscure uncle. All of it will go to you as part of his will… which I naturally wrote for him."

"I am indebted to you for insuring it was done properly, Lady Catherine. I shudder to think what would have happened should the late Mr. Collins have been in the employ of someone less attentive to her duties. Pray tell me; how many church mice am I worth these days?"

"Just over 10,000"

" **10,000 church mice** you say!"

"Yes, my dear. Do not take this smirk for levity… I am simply enjoying the chance to be more impertinent than you for a change."

" **10,000?** "

"Yes, 10,000"

"Just to be clear, Lady Catherine! In this particular conversation, you are equating a church mouse with one English Pound Sterling."

"Yes, my dear. You now have a fortune of £10,000."

"I am speechless."

"I have been waiting a month for that rare occasion."

"I am all astonishment."

"I imagine so. There is more!"

" **More!** "

"Yes, indeed. My solicitor has developed a rigorous scientific theory about your great grandfather which may explain a lot about your father's behavior. Would you like to hear it?"

"I am all ears, your Ladyship."

"He theorizes both your ancestor and his solicitor were either heavy drinkers, opium eaters or barking mad. It is the only explanation for some of the clauses in one more legal document."

"Pray enlighten me!"

"Apparently, since Mr. Collins was the very last of the Bennet males, _you_ inherit Longbourn on your father's demise, rather than your mother and sisters."

" **Me?** "

"Yes, you. Elizabeth Collins."

"That makes no sense."

"Hence the heavy drinker theory, although in some ways it makes a certain kind of sense. They would not want the estate to be broken up. If you had a son, he would be the heir, but since you do not, the estate will go to you as the wife of the last living male. Otherwise it would have to be split between your mother, sisters and any daughters you might have. It is extremely unusual, practically unheard of, but apparently legal."

"I can see your solicitor's heavy drinker theory has merit."

"Just to be certain, there will be no children, will there?"

"No, My lady. As I am certain you can appreciate, I did not anticipate my vows, and I will be in mourning for a year. I am perfectly safe on that score. William Collins will not have any children, male or otherwise."

"The world will thank you for that, Elizabeth. When will you tell your father and your family?"

"Is there any hurry? I would just as soon remain a penniless beggar in the eyes of the world for a while if you do not mind."

"There is no hurry… not as long as you have a way to know when your father dies."

"I will let them know when he dies or I quit being mad at them. My friend Charlotte will keep me appraised of the gossip from Meryton so I will know if he dies. Neither his death nor my relenting are likely to happen any time soon."

"Sensible enough. Now I can see Anne chomping at the bit for your phaeton ride, so you had best get to it."

"I shall see you at supper then."

"Enjoy your ride, Elizabeth, and try to keep Anne out of trouble!"

* * *

 ** _Rosings – April 1812_**

* * *

"Elizabeth, I see you received more letters from Hertfordshire. Are you planning to answer these any more reliably than those that preceded them?"

"Do you have an opinion about whether I should or not, my lady?"

"No, I am just curious is all."

"You, Anne"

"I am also curious."

"Well, the latest batch proceed along the same path as the previous. I mostly read them and burned them, but not necessarily in that order. My father even exerted himself to write this time."

"Did he say anything interesting."

"He did not in the first half of the letter. I could not read the rest as it was burning too quickly."

"Still angry I see!"

"Yes, still angry. Just because the reaper paid me a favor does not make what they did right."

"Well, I can hardly blame you. I say let them sweat a bit."

"That seems sage advice, Anne. I shall follow it with relish."

"Was the entire pack a waste?"

"Actually, my friend Charlotte wrote with some real concern and I believe I will write back to her. And… oddly enough, my sister Kitty showed some real contrition about the way they treated me before the wedding. That was surprising, so I may write her a note and enclose it with Charlotte's letter. I will not see my name grace a letter delivered to Longbourn, but I would like to reestablish a connection with Charlotte and possibly Kitty."

"It would be good if you could more or less recover at least one of your sisters."

"I believe one is optimistic Lady Catherine, but I shall try."

"Do they know you are the heir yet?"

"Unless they have better sources of gossip than I suppose, or your solicitor told them, they do not even know Mr. Collins is dead."

"Probably for the best."

"Yes, for now whether it is the best or not, it is what they will get."

"By the way, Elizabeth my nephews will be visiting for Easter."

"Can you be more specific, my lady?"

"Richard Fitzwilliam is the son of my brother, the Earl of Matlock. He is a colonel in the army. He will accompany my other nephew, Fitzwilliam Darcy."

"Oh!"

"Why do you look like that, Elizabeth? You look a bit ill."

"I am acquainted with Mr. Darcy."

"Do you know him well?"

"No Anne, but I was acquainted with him when he visited his friend Mr. Bingley on his estate three miles from my father's. We do not particularly like each other. It might be better if I went to visit my aunt and uncle in town during their visit."

"Nonsense. You will tell me about this purported dislike immediately."

"I cannot, Lady Catherine. Please do not ask it of me."

"Very well, Elizabeth. I will not pry, but neither will my guest run and hide from my nephews. You can be civil to him, I suppose?"

"Yes, I can."

"And he can be civil to you, I presume."

"He has been quite civil around eight times out of ten that we have been in company, so I am willing to take my chances."

"And the two time he was not. How far was he from civility? Will you elaborate?"

"Quite far from the mark, is all I will say."

"Very well. You may run and hide if you like, but I do not recommend it."

"Mr. Darcy can hide from me if he so chooses, but I will stay and be civil if you request it. Perhaps I will like the colonel better."

"Oh yes, Eliza. You will like Richard."

"Very well, Anne."

* * *

 ** _Rosings - Easter 1812_**

* * *

 _"I do not see what right Mr. Darcy had to decide on the propriety of his friend's inclination, or why, upon his own judgement alone, he was to determine and direct in what manner his friend was to be happy. But, as we know none of the particulars, it is not fair to condemn him. It is not to be supposed that there was much affection in the case."_

 _"That is not an unnatural surmise, but it is a lessening of the honor of my cousin's triumph very sadly."_

"I am curious, Colonel. Perhaps you can enlighten me who _specifically_ the triumph was over? Was it a triumph over an _'unacceptable lady'_ , despite a complete lack of any real knowledge of who or what the lady was? Do you assume any lady your cousin disapproves of is unacceptable by definition? Or perhaps it was a triumph over an inconstant and indecisive man who can have his affections pushed around like a feather in the wind?"

"That sounds a bit more like condemnation than you previously asserted, Mrs. Collins. I imagine the former is the only thing that could be considered a triumph, and then only if he was correct about the lady; and Darcy's understanding of women may be imperfect. Perhaps I should rephrase that assertion."

"And why should you make up an incorrect assertion just to be polite when you have one that perfectly matches your feelings, sir? Nay, I would prefer your honest condemnation of _the woman_ to prevarication. As for Mr. Darcy's sensibilities, I shall not comment."

"I sense we are perhaps straying from comfortable topics of conversation."

"Yes, we left the realm of propriety some time ago, and I desire that we return. The whole thing is of no importance anymore anyway. It confirms my opinion of your cousin, and that was useful but I would leave the subject now."

"Shall we head back to Rosings, Mrs. Collins?"

"With pleasure, Colonel"

* * *

 ** _Rosings – January 1813_**

* * *

 _"From the very beginning-from the first moment, I may almost say-of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry."_

 _"You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time…"_

" _Not so hasty, if you please. I have by no means done._ I have listened to you, and now you shall listen to me. You owe me that courtesy if nothing else, Mr. Darcy."

 _"I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours."_

"It is not from pleasure I wish to speak sir, nor from pride or malice; but the need to defend my own self‑respect. I have already had one husband who wished to keep me under his thumb, and I have no wish for another. Do you realize your proposal had very much in common with my previous one from Mr. Collins?"

"No madam, I did not. It seems my crimes are even greater than I feared, and I heartily apologize for any offenses I may have committed. Now I shall take my leave?"

" **No sir, you will not!** A weak apology is far worse than no apology at all. May I continue?"

"Of course, madam"

"Mr. Darcy, I fully realize that I have an ignorant mother, a maliciously indolent father and four silly sisters; and frankly I do not particularly blame you for severing the connection. Colonel Fitzwilliam informed me that _you did everything in your power to separate your friend Mr. Bingley from my sister Jane, and that you no doubt rejoice in your success. I only wish you had been as kind towards yourself as you were to him."_

"Perhaps…"

"Let me finish if you please. I may once have been nobody and nothing, but even so, I would _never again_ marry without respect and affection. Once was one time too many, I assure you."

"That was not…"

"Perhaps not your intention Mr. Darcy, but it was what you proposed and what you no doubt think. You believe your wealth and position in life should give you leave to ignore your character, but I am unimpressed with both. I should also like to point out that unless your aunt broke my confidence, which seems _highly_ unlikely, you will be unaware that today I am a respectable widow with a fortune of £10,000 and heir to an estate of £2,000 per annum. In Lady Catherine and those she has introduced me to this past year, I have a few minor connections to the first circles of society including your own cousin and uncle."

"I assure you I never…"

"Let me finish please… I have over the past year mastered most of the skills you and Miss Bingley thought so highly of back in Netherfield, partly out of boredom as my mourning left me little society, but mostly to help your cousin with her accomplishments and her health. All of this means that in the misguided ideas of worthiness the first circles espouse, I am something of a catch; but none of that makes me any more or less worthy as a woman than I was as a penniless gentlewoman. You are a gentleman and I am a gentleman's daughter so we should be equal. _You have no right to speak to me in such a way_ ; just as you had no right to disparage my handsomeness the very first night you declined to be introduced to me. I will _not_ have another marriage like the one I was forced into, nor will I willingly endure a marriage like my parents have. I _will not_ be looked down on by my partner in life every day until I become a silly woman like my mother. I will marry for affection or not at all."

"An admirable goal, madam. I applaud your desires and hope they will one day be fulfilled. To be honest, I thought I was offering that, but I apparently was grossly mistaken."

"You were! I have one more thing to say, Mr. Darcy. I have this fortune and connections only because I had the good fortune to have my husband die. Had he still been healthy, I would be chained to him for life, mainly because you dragged Mr. Bingley away from Netherfield without so much as a by your leave. He generated expectations with his behavior, and then left in a very ungentlemanly way which eliminated my chance to reject Mr. Collins. There is unlikely to ever be any affection between you and me, so I am doing you as big of a service as I am myself. Now I am done, and I bid you good day, sir. Please _accept my best wishes for your health and happiness."_

"Please accept my abject apologies, and my best wishes for you as well. Goodbye, Mrs. Collins."

"Goodbye, Mr. Darcy."

* * *

" **He proposed to you!** "

"Yes, Lady Catherine."

"He proposed!"

"Yes, ma'am"

"Proposed marriage?"

"Yes, your ladyship"

"Did you draw him in with your arts and allurements. You are much more accomplished than Anne, and frankly much livelier. Is this the thanks I am to receive for taking you under my wing?"

"I swear to you Lady Catherine, I had no idea he looked at me with anything but disdain; nor did I welcome his addresses in the least. The entire thing came as a shock to me. I long believed we had a mutual dislike of each other that was quite evenly matched. I am as astonished as you are!"

"So, when am I to wish you joy, Mrs. Collins."

" _I asked you not to call me…_ well, it matters not. You shall not, Lady Catherine as I declined his offer."

" **YOU DECLINED MY NEPHEW, FITZWILLIAM DARCY!** "

"Yes, your ladyship!"

" **Declined?** "

"Yes, ma'am"

"Declined the richest and perhaps handsomest man you are ever likely to meet?"

"Yes, my lady"

"Declined _my nephew?_ "

"Yes, Lady Catherine"

"You must leave at once."

"Very well, I shall do so. May I ask a question?"

"If you must."

"Am I to be sent away because it is time after you generously hosted me during my mourning, because I rejected your nephew or because he asked in the first place?"

"Your own conscience should tell you that."

"Very well, _I shall know how to act_. Shall I leave now, or will the morrow be sufficient."

"Do not be ridiculous. You shall leave at a decent hour after you have a few days to pack and establish a new residence. I shall send you to your new home in the barouche box."

"It shall be done as you say Lady Catherine… Before I go, may I say one last thing."

"If you must."

"I must. My conscience demands to be heard."

"Then have your say, Mrs. Collins."

"Lady Catherine, I wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness to me this past year. I know I have not deserved it, and I know it is time to leave your care, and you have ample reason to see the backside of me; but nevertheless, you have been everything a lady should be, an example to be followed, and kindness itself to me. I owe you my sincerest thanks. I would have been lost without you."

"You are welcome. Retire now, and we shall start preparations in the morning."

* * *

" _Anne, wake up… wake up_! I have done a terrible thing! Last night in a fit of pique I told Elizabeth she must leave."

"Why did you do that mother?"

"She received and _rejected_ a proposal from Darcy."

"Which part did you object to, the proposal or the rejection?"

"That is the exact question she asked."

"How did you answer, Mother?"

"I… I… I did not answer. My mind failed me and I told her she must leave."

" _That was badly done Mother!_ That was very badly done! It is not her fault if Darcy is a lunkhead who could not tell that she disliked him. Eliza was not subtle about her feelings, and I believe my cousin is not particularly astute. I imagine men who think themselves in love seldom are."

"Yes, it was very badly done! I was entirely wrong! Come with me to help apologize and ask her to stay."

"It is too late, Mama."

" **Too Late!** What do you mean?"

"I just looked in her room and talked to her maid. She left long before first light with nothing but the dress she appeared in a year ago and the trunk she brought from Longbourn. A servant saw her leave by the kitchen, but thought nothing of it. She must have taken a post coach. She left this letter."

"We must find her! I have done a terrible thing."

"Yes, Mother, you have! But we shall not compound it by chasing after her like a common criminal. You are not the only one in this house with a fiery temper… or at least you were not yesterday. She will calm down and write to us eventually. She will realize we are her family. We will give her the respect she deserves. She never abused our hospitality even once, and I would argue my improved health is almost entirely due to her. Let her come back to us when she is ready. She will not forsake us."

"Are you to be the wise one in the family now, Anne?"

"Only sometimes, Mother. Let Eliza settle herself. She will write to us, I assure you."

"It seems we must."

"We have one more problem, Mother?"

"Yes?"

"Darcy is going to kill us!"

"I had not thought of that."

"Perhaps you should. Disguise is your abhorrence, so you will have to tell him."

"You are right. He will be furious, but he shall not interfere with her life again."

"Can we at long last utterly and completely abandon the scheme to have him married to me. I will not be anybody's second choice."

"Agreed. I imagine I must face the lion now,"

"Courage mother. Remember who you are."

"I am the mother of Anne de Bourgh!"

"Very well! Go talk Darcy off the cliff, Mother."


	2. Ramsgate

**_Ramsgate - January 1814_**

* * *

"I am afraid your husband is dead, Mrs. Wickham."

"Dead?"

"Yes ma'am, dead"

"Probably for the best."

"That is an unexpected answer! You do not seem surprised or alarmed, Mrs. Wickham."

"Dead husbands happen on me all the time, Lord Mawbry. They no longer surprise me any more than having a previously unheard-of Earl appear suddenly at my house to introduce himself and tell me about it."

 _"You have more than one dead husband?"_

"Yes sir. This is not the first husband to die on my wedding day. I believe I may be gaining a fatal reputation, but it matters not, since I have no intention of wedding again."

"Nevertheless, you have my condolences, madam. I do not wish to be indelicate, but I must appraise you of the particulars of his demise as they will affect you."

"Lord Mawbry, it seems that my new husband managed to abscond with my £10,000 fortune. I believed him an honorable man, and I also believed my fortune secure from any and all, but he charmed my banker as thoroughly as he charmed me. He seems to have disappeared before my wedding night yesterday."

" **The Scoundrel!** He is even worse than I thought, and I thought he was very-very bad."

"Indeed! I have learned some things of my husband I never knew before this morning, Lord Mawbry. Gambling, lying and ruining women seem to have been his favorite hidden pleasures… _well hidden_ by a handsome mien, excellent manners, affability, a seemingly deep knowledge of the world and society, and an uncanny skill at picking out ignorant lambs like me for the slaughter. Apparently one vice was stronger than the other though, as he forsook the pleasures of his new wife in favor of my fortune… or more likely he just thought he could get to me at his leisure."

"With a bride like you, that would also make him at least three-quarters insane, and probably more… er… my pardon, Mrs. Wickham. That was abominably rude."

"I am not in the least offended, my lord… in fact, I take it as a compliment. I am not missish, so do not trouble yourself. You said you have more information! Let us get on with it, if you would kind sir."

"Your husband apparently died from an apoplexy when he won a hand of cards. I was not in the game, but I took it upon myself to return his winnings to you."

"I thank you my lord. That is the most gentlemanly act I have ever heard of, and I am very much in your debt."

"It was the least I could do, madam."

"I thank you anyway. Pray how much do I have left?"

"Just over 50 and a few other items, madam."

"Well, I suppose £50 will keep me from starving for a while. Perhaps if I join a trade I can dispense with the tedium of mourning yet another husband who did not survive his wedding day and was not worthy of my hand in the first place."

" _How many have there been if I may be so bold as to ask?_ "

"Only the two so far."

" **Two!** Both dead on your wedding day!"

"Yes sir"

"Astounding!"

"Yes, it is rather singular."

" _I must clarify something Mrs. Wickham_ _!_ Your winnings are not £50. They are £50,000… er… and the Sweetwater estate in Sussex… and five purebred horses."

"Please repeat that!"

"I brought you £50,000, the deed for an estate with £3,000 per annum, and some horses. This may seem indelicate, but you seem to be much better off without that worthless husband. I would happily trade only one of those horses for ten of your husband."

"I usually am better off when my worthless husbands die on my wedding afternoon, but it would not be my preference for a manner of acquiring consequence."

"A sensible argument, madam, and while unpleasant, you now have a much better position in life. May I assist you in any way?"

"Could you tell me… am I in any danger from the previous owner of the estate or the fortune."

"No ma'am, you are protected by two things… make that three… no, four."

"Please continue, my lord."

"The first is that the men who indulge in this ' _pastime'_ have a very peculiar sense of honor. They would think nothing of ruining a woman or allowing a tenant's child to starve, but would consider it a mortal sin to renege on a bet."

"Forgive me if I say that anyone with such a perverse sense of _so-called honor_ does not fill me with confidence. Such men seem a touch… er… inconsistent."

"A wise attitude, madam. I do not normally travel in those circles but I know about them. I was only there because I was searching for my dissolute and worthless nephew as a favor to his father. That brings me to your second protection."

"Pray, continue"

"Much of the £50,000 was apparently from your original fortune, and the rest was from contributions from several men who can well afford it and _cannot_ afford any stain on their so-called honor. I would not expect a problem from them. The man who owned the estate was a dissolute wastrel, the last of his line, and he consoled himself for his loss by drinking himself the rest of the way into a stupor and getting run over by a carriage. He is dead as well."

"Shall I add him to my body count?"

"No, I would consider him a suicide."

"I would agree. The third protection?"

"I believe I am the only one who actually knows who you are, and I am probably the only one who knows or cares which estate was in play. If you change back to your maiden name and leave town immediately, I doubt anyone will ever find you. I asked around, and while this particular bunch of gentlemen will leave you alone, your husband left many _other_ debts of honor and ruined women in his wake, and some of those may not be so sanguine. I believe none will be able to find you if you lose your latest surname quickly though."

"A wise precaution, Lord Mawbry. I am not so enamored with the name anyway, so perhaps I will become Mrs. Bennet. I dislike Bennet less than either of my other surnames."

"My solicitor is at your disposal, Mrs. Bennet, although you can obviously well afford and should locate your own."

"I appreciate that, my lord. You mentioned a fourth protection?"

"I may have mentioned that I was putting you under my protection and anybody who disturbed you over the matter would answer to me on the field of honor. Few would choose to do so."

"I thank you my lord. May I ask why you are doing this, particularly the last which seems… er… excessive."

"My daughter would have been around your age and probably around your disposition had she survived childhood. I feel like helping you is a little bit of payback for the seven years my Emma gave me… and besides…"

"Besides, my lord?"

"Besides that, you amuse me. Not much in my life amuses me anymore, so I find helping you is the same as helping myself."

"Your help is very much appreciated, Lord Mawbry. I am estranged from my first family due to their actions, and my second family due to my own stubbornness. I believe it is time to try to offer an olive branch to both, and see if Lady Catherine de Bourgh or my Uncle Gardiner will advise me. Lady Catherine and my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner have been the only people in my life to ever give me any good advice, although I know not if they will accept me back into their confidence."

"I know Lady Catherine. She is a sensible woman, and if you had a falling-out, I cannot imagine she will not welcome you back. How may I assist you?"

"You have done all that was required… much more than was required by honor or any other inclination already, and I thank you, my lord."

"Perhaps all that is required, but it would be my privilege to assist you further. Simply name the service. My Emma would approve, and my departed wife, Julia would as well. I am at my leisure at the moment, and am not needed anywhere in my estates for the next month."

"Very well. If you would be so kind to escort my person and my assets to my uncle in town, he will assist me in at least securing them with a more reputable banker. Then I believe I can afford to engage a man of business to help me sort this mess out. I thank you for your kindness and for looking after me, my lord. It was most generously done, but I do not wish to trouble you overly much."

"It was not especially generous madam. Honor and inclination demand no less."

"Nevertheless, it was well done and I owe you my thanks. By the way, did you ever find your nephew."

"Yes, and I wish I had not."

"My condolences, my lord. It appears we both have family to be ashamed of."

"Indeed, we do madam. I am curious. Will you do the full year of mourning, Mrs. Wickham… er, Bennet."

"I suppose so. I am accustomed to it by now, and I must learn to manage my new estate… after I learn where it is. I have found that mourning clothes are somewhat effective in slowing down unwanted suitors, and for the foreseeable future, all suitors will be unwanted. As an estate owner though, I believe the number and ferocity of them may be more than previously encountered, so I may do full mourning for a decade."

"It would be my privilege to assist you in securing your estate. I have been to Sweetwater, and it needs a master very badly, but could be an excellent property with the proper care. It has a good steward, but he is as old as the hills and ready for a pension. He is all that has held it together these two decades."

"I thank you my lord, but while I appreciate the offer, I believe I must ask advice from people I know better. I mean no offense, but I cannot possibly impugn on very much more of your time. You must have your own estates to take care of."

"No offense is taken. It is a sensible argument, but I am at your disposal should you ever require assistance."

"Thank you, Lord Mawbry"

"Might you be ready to leave at first light, Mrs. Bennet? If your relatives are away from home or not inclined to reconcile, I will escort you to Kent. Should that not work for any reason, I will take you to Sweetwater and lend my assistance."

"I will be ready, my lord. You are too good to me, but I will accept your assistance with thanks."

"Very good madam. I shall see you at first light."

* * *

 ** _Rosings –February 1814_**

* * *

" **Elizabeth! Welcome Home!** "

"I thank you Lady Catherine. How are you, and how is Anne's new husband?"

"Both in excellent health. She is on her wedding trip now as you know, but should be back in three months. I am missing her dreadfully, but all is well now that you are back, at least for a while."

"I am sorry to have missed her, and I am even sorrier I ignored both of you for a year. It may be the worst thing I have ever done…. Well, the second or third worst at least."

"I am sorry to have driven you out, so no apologies on your part are required. As Anne said, it is not your fault my nephew is a so dense and I am short tempered and inconstant."

"You did not drive me out, my lady. It was time for me to leave the nest, although I believe I splatted on the ground rather than learning how to fly, so I fear I am once again sheepishly back for advice."

"I am happy to help you, Elizabeth. I understand from your letter you have inherited Sweetwater. It is a reasonably good estate. It should be a very fine estate, but I understand the former family has neglected it for at least two decades and it is in dire need of attention."

"Yes, that is as Lord Mawbry indicated."

"Did your husband really steal your entire fortune?"

"Yes, he did. He was like a snake in the grass, Lady Catherine. The most two-faced man I have ever had the displeasure to know. I was as naïve as a woman with a combination of the worst characteristics of Jane and Lydia in the end. He completely and utterly fooled me, my banker and all my acquaintances. He was nothing but a common guttersnipe, who somehow acquired the dress, manner and look of a true gentleman. I truly wish I had called on your judgment sooner, as you probably would have seen through him in a moment. I believe at this point I am the stupidest woman in England."

"You are neither the first nor the last to be fooled by that man, so do not be so hard on yourself. You can lay his education at the feet of George Darcy. In fact… no, I shall not say it. There are things it is better you do not know."

"If they are more bad things about my late husband, I prefer to remain in ignorance so long as they will not come looking for me; and I would never criticize a man for the generosity of educating his steward's son. Let us lay the blame where it belongs."

"Your decision to return to the Bennet surname and Lord Mawbry's quick thinking about leaving town should be adequate protection. Just do not mention that hated name ever again, and none in my family would either."

"You may be assured, that I shall never allow that name to be spoken in my presence again."

"Very good. I must say Elizabeth, you do seem uncommonly skilled at ridding the world of unworthy men."

"I see that my attempt to teach you some impertinence was successful, Lady Catherine."

"Yes, very successful. Now, let us have our tea and talk of more pleasant matters than men and money. There will be enough time for that tomorrow."

"An admirable suggestion, Lady Catherine."

"Welcome home, Elizabeth."

"I fear it is no longer truly my home Lady Catherine, as I still do have to learn to fly, but you will always be my family."

* * *

"Lady Catherine, I thank you for these days of respite, but it is time for me to learn to run my estate. I am hoping you can point me to someone who can teach me how to do it… possibly a trusted steward or man of business. I fear I am quite unprepared to be an estate owner, and I only hope the old steward has held the place together."

"A very sound idea Elizabeth. I have just the man to help you. He knows more about estates than any five other men, and I believe he has even visited your estate. He will teach you to set the place to rights and make sure you have a good steward. You have a great deal of work in front of you, but you are capable and intelligent so all will be well. He has volunteered to spend the next month or two teaching you about estate management… although, I forewarn you the part about _volunteering_ may be overstating he case."

" _Overstating the case!_ Egads, what have you done?"

"Colonel Fitzwilliam told me a term they have in the army. It is called _appointing a volunteer._ That is what I have done."

"Why have you done this? Can I not find someone that I can simply pay to do their job well? Or at least, someone who wants to do me the favor?"

"Not at this time, Elizabeth. In this stage of your education, you need someone trustworthy, and you need a _master_. You not only need a master, you need the _best master_. You need the _very best_ in instruction. Nothing else will do for my protégé."

"Who might this paragon be?"

"My nephew, of course."

"I did not know the Colonel was so knowledgeable."

"Do not be obtuse, Elizabeth. It does not suit you. _I mean Darcy of course_ _."_

"Darcy?"

"Yes, and wipe that startled expression off your face."

"You do mean, _Fitzwilliam Darcy_ _?_ The man whose proposal I so spectacularly abused a year ago, and who probably burns me in effigy every fortnight?"

"You mean the man that got the comeuppance he deserved a year ago, and is undoubtably a better man for it."

"Semantics, Lady Catherine. I would not have a man coerced into the job."

"It is his duty, and he will do it."

"That will be… awkward… very awkward… for both of us."

"Most important things in life are dear. Now go get a bath and we shall have supper."

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

 ** _Rosings – March 1814_**

* * *

"Mrs. Bennet, I am sorry for…"

 **"You might have warned me!"**

" _Yes, I should have._ You have every right to censure me for that; among many other things. I missed _two_ opportunities to warn you about that miscreant. It is the second biggest failure of my life… both centered around that scoundrel. I most offer my most abject apologies."

"Second biggest, sir?"

"Yes, he tried to elope with my fifteen-year-old sister a couple months before I met you in Hertfordshire. I only stopped him through pure good fortune by a single day. Er…"

"Yes"

"I was still flaming mad about his treatment of Georgiana that night I insulted you at that assembly."

"Truly!?"

"Yes, truly."

"I sense a pattern."

"You would be correct. You are not his first victim, but as difficult as it was for you, I must commend you for being his last. You were more effective than I was."

"The only thing I seem to be effective at is killing husbands, Mr. Darcy… an art for which I do not believe you have applied yourself."

"Er…"

"Come now, Mr. Darcy. I am simply trying to use levity to lighten the tension between us, as an axe would be the only other thing that could do the trick."

"Perhaps I could borrow Richard's sword."

"Much better. May I make a suggestion?"

"Of course!"

"Might we leave it in the past, Mr. Darcy. Let us _think only of the past as its remembrance gives us pleasure."_

"You, whose conduct has been everything good are entitled to that privilege. I sadly, am not."

" _I must insist_ , Mr. Darcy. My conduct will not survive close scrutiny either. In fact, it will not survive even cursory inspection. I took one small insult from a man in bad humor and used it as an excuse to abuse him at every opportunity, and then took the lies of a scoundrel as readily as a piglet, making no effort whatsoever to verify if they were true, or even if they made sense. My conduct was actually worse than yours if measured objectively, but I am done with all that. If you cannot promise to leave the bad parts of our shared past behind us, I will ask Lady Catherine to find me another tutor."

"I shall try."

"You will succeed. The Master of Pemberley can do what he sets out to do."

"Very well"

"One more thing. I do not mean _just_ Wickham, Mr. Darcy. I mean _all of it_ _._ May we leave all the unpleasantness behind and become acquaintances with no cause for repentance."

"It is too much to hope for."

"Nevertheless, I shall accept nothing less, Mr. Darcy. I will not have a friend dragging around the past like an albatross around his neck for the next two months."

"Are we to be friends, then?"

"Yes, I believe so… if you can find it in your heart to let it go."

"That, I can do."

"Do you think you could also call me Elizabeth? I find I have had three surnames in a row that I despise. I have picked the least objectionable of them, but hearing it less will not be amiss."

"Very well. Please call me Fitzwilliam. Let us see to your estate. I have just the man for you to replace your steward. He will take to instruction from your present steward well, and they may end up working together quite harmoniously for several years. Shall we leave for Sussex in a fortnight? I have some chores to do for Rosings, and you may begin your education by watching those as I explain. Lord Mawbry rode your estate and talked to your steward on his way home, and your estate will not collapse in the next month."

"I would like that very much."

"What will you do after we have your man engaged and you have learned to be an estate owner."

"I believe I will be fully engaged in resurrecting the estate for the next several years at least, and I will be in mourning for at least this year, and probably the next. I believe I have a lot to learn, and the estate is badly in need of some care and attention. Perhaps next year, or the next, I may tour the continent."

"That seems a good idea. I shall wish you safe travels."

"Thank you Fitzwilliam"

* * *

 ** _Sweetwater – May 1814_**

* * *

"Charlotte, welcome to Sweetwater! I am so happy you could come."

"Lizzy, I am so happy to be here. I must admit that you are the most exciting person I know."

"Haha. It is so good to see you. How long can you stay?"

"As long as you will have me, Elizabeth."

"Well, about that. I hope you will stay with me until you are well settled, or preferably forever if that is your desire."

"I take that back Lizzy, you are not the most exciting person I know. You are the maddest."

"Perhaps so, but I depend on you Charlotte. Please consider Sweetwater your home."

"Thank you, Elizabeth. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

"I will extract my price, Charlotte Lucas. Just you wait. I do not know what it will be, but I will be repaid."

"I shall await that event with bated breath."

* * *

"Charlotte, you remember Mr. Darcy."

"Miss Lucas, it is a great pleasure to see you again."

"Mr. Darcy, a pleasure as well."

"Charlotte, Fitzwilliam will be teaching us to be estate masters."

"I take it back Lizzy. You are back to being the most exciting person I know, but that does not absolve you of being the maddest."

"You forgot deadliest!"

* * *

 ** _Sweetwater - June 1814_**

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, I believe it is time for you to return to your duties. Charlotte and I shall be quite well here by ourselves. I shall always be grateful for all that you have taught us, and now it is time for the little birdie to leave the nest again, and hope I manage to fly this time."

"Are you tired of my company, Elizabeth?"

" **Of course not!** I have… I have… I have enjoyed it immensely, and you have been a godsend. You have your own life to live though, your own estate to manage, and your sister must be missing you abominably. Lady Catherine has told me her premier is coming soon, and you must see to it. You cannot leave her first season to your aunts or worse yet, your cousin the Colonel, and I cannot imagine you are not obsessively worrying about her court dress for her curtsey to the queen. Who will choose the lace if you are here?"

"Still impertinent, I see."

"I am afraid it is a character defect sir."

"I would not call it so… but you are correct, it is time for me to leave. I have enjoyed our time together, Elizabeth."

"As have I, Fitzwilliam. Safe travels, my friend."

"Be well, Elizabeth."

* * *

 ** _Cheapside – January 1815_**

* * *

"Good morning, Elizabeth. Miss Lucas, I am happy to see you."

"Thank you, Mr. Gardiner. I am happy to visit."

"Good morning Uncle. Thank you for seeing us."

"Nonsense, Lizzy. It is my pleasure, and I only wish you would agree to spend more time with us, and you know you are always welcome as well Miss Lucas."

"I have an estate to see to Uncle, but I do appreciate the offer. Charlotte and I have been content at Sweetwater these eight months."

"How is your estate, Elizabeth?"

"It is well, Uncle. Mr. Darcy was kind enough to engage an excellent steward for me, and spent a full two months teaching us what we needed to learn, and left us with an enormous stack of useful books which Charlotte and I are reading voraciously. The old steward was ready for a pension which I gave him, but he was quite keen to work with the new one for a year or two and try to get the estate back to what it was. He was most distressed by the previous owner's neglect. My estate is being restored to what it should have been as we speak. The past year has been very busy, but most rewarding… well aside from that whole dead husband part, which was not as diverting as it sounds."

"Excellent my dear. I always believed you would be good at whatever you chose to do. You always were intelligent, and not _everything_ your father did in raising you was wrong."

"Yes, I agree on that score Uncle, and I thank you. I am not quite ready to forgive my father his last transgression though."

"It would be a pointless endeavor anyway, Lizzy. Your father is what he is, and you will reconcile with him or you will not. I would let your own desires drive that, since he is quite capable of looking after his own desires to the exclusion of all others; as you know better than anyone."

"I am in no hurry. I hope he lives a long time, because I am _not_ looking forward to inheriting Longbourn."

"Let us have some refreshments, and then get down to the _true_ reason you are visiting ladies."

* * *

"Uncle, I have come to town to ask if you are willing to undertake a rather unpleasant task. I only really trust a very few men, and you are the only one in my family."

"That is a sad state of affairs, Elizabeth."

"But a true state of affairs, I think you must agree?"

"There can be no two opinions on that matter. Do you have any men outside the family you trust implicitly?"

"Yes. Mr. Darcy and Lord Mawbry. I have some others that I do not distrust, but those are the only two that have my absolute faith."

"You are not quite so desolate as you thought Lizzy. They are both good men, and few have even one such man they can trust. How may I help you?"

"I have decided to settle £4,000 on each of my five sisters, but only on the condition that _you_ approve any suitors, or if they turn thirty years of age without marrying, they can get the settlement outright. I am hoping you can avoid rakes and fortune hunters."

"I only remember four sisters, Lizzy."

"I am considering Charlotte, one of them."

"You most certainly will do nothing of the sort, Elizabeth."

"Charlotte, are you truly feeling up to a contest of wills with a woman who kills men by simply saying a few words."

"Do not be impertinent Elizabeth. Do you truly mean to do this?"

"I do, and I also offer you a home in Sweetwater for as long as you like Charlotte, up to and including the end if you so desire. You are all that is kind and good and noble and sensible. I may do with my fortune as I please, and I assure you, I please to do this. You will not gainsay me on this matter, so save yourself some consternation right now as I am quite stubborn."

"I thank you, Elizabeth. I do not understand you, but I do thank you."

"Elizabeth, if you and Miss Lucas are finished with your arg… er… discussion, might I ask why do you not perform the office yourself? You are as intelligent as I am."

"I fear my ability to detect men of bad character is highly suspect after my last marriage, and there can be no two opinions on that subject either. I also fear that my… er… disinclination for my sisters might color the whole interaction, since at this point I will consider any man who wants one of them to be somewhat simple. I am not quite up to a reconciliation just yet. Between you and Aunt, I believe you can make good decisions, and since the worst of my sisters will never be in residence, you can make a decision and my father can pay the price in noise and vexation should you turn one or more of them away."

"You are very hard on yourself, Lizzy. I doubt I could have detected that cretin's intentions myself. I would have protected your fortune better though."

"Yes, I was foolish in the extreme. I could have asked you or Lady Catherine for advice and would have profited from it. If you can believe me, Lady Catherine knew the cretin, and a single mention of his name would have saved me the mortification. My abominable pride prevented it, and nearly to my great detriment. It is only blind luck that saved me."

"Well, that is in the past, is it not? You are an estate master now, and I hear a very good one."

"I would like to believe so. My estate is doing well, at least. This spring was managed tolerably by the steward, but next year will be excellent."

"We shall all agree on your skills, and you are certain you wish to entrust me with this much of your fortune?"

"Yes. I will ask you to take up the office if you do not find it onerous. I know it is a lot to ask."

"I will be happy to do so, my dear. I doubt there will be so many as to take up much of my time, and I doubt your father will vex me at all unless I decide to confront him in his book room."

"On the subject of fortune Uncle, could you profitably use an investor?"

"What type of investment are you thinking of, Elizabeth?"

"I wish to keep £20,000 in the four percents for security and extra capital should I need it for the estate, and the amount set aside for the dowries should stay there as well. If you could use the last £10,000 profitably, I would give it into your care as well as half the income from my estate?"

"That seems a bold move, Elizabeth. Are you certain of this?"

"Are you uncomfortable with the investment Uncle, or do you not think it would be profitable for both of us?"

"No, Lizzy. I am quite comfortable I can increase both of our fortunes without a lot of risk, but there will be some."

"I can afford the risk, so let us make it so. I will naturally want to know what your plans are, and will want to be appraised of progress every few months, but otherwise I can leave it in your hands unless you wish me to assist. Be fair, Uncle. You must make a substantial profit from it as well. Do not use the money any differently than you would any gentleman investor."

"That seems a good arrangement. Let me put together some ideas. Might we convene in a fortnight to discuss them?"

"Thank you, Uncle. Charlotte and I will be in town for a month. Today I will beg Aunt to accompany us to the modiste. It is time to send my half-mourning clothes to the ragmaker."

"Very good ladies. Miss Lucas, Lizzy, I shall see you at dinner."

* * *

 ** _Sweetwater – February 1815_**

* * *

"Charlotte, are you determined you will not go with me?"

"Yes, Lizzy I find myself quite fixed here in Sweetwater. If you wanted me to leave this place, you should have invited me to stay a fortnight ago. I have been here a full year my dear, and I am as fixed as those trees. Go Lizzy. Have your holiday. Enjoy yourself. I will see that your estate is well cared for."

"Very well. I will be leaving as soon as the spring planting is done, Charlotte."

* * *

"Charlotte?"

"Do not even say it Elizabeth. This is _your_ trip. Go and enjoy it. That is your dream, not mine. I already have mine."

"Are you so set against courting, Charlotte."

"Elizabeth, quit worrying about me! You are turning into your mother. You have given me everything I ever wanted. If an amiable man happens to fall out of the sky on my head and I happen to like him, then that might be different. I am quite happy with my current situation, and am in no more hurry to marry than you are."

"But…"

"No, Elizabeth. I will not be moved. Go and enjoy your holiday."

"Very well. I shall be back in the summer, and I shall write every week."

* * *

 ** _London – April 1815_**

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, how nice to see you. I did not realize you were in town or I would have called on you to see if you set the dogs on me."

"If that is the best you can do Elizabeth, you need to go back to my aunt for more instruction in impertinence."

"I concede the field good sir. I can see you still like your books. I am here to see if any books actually exist on estate management that you did not already give me."

"I wish you luck. I am to understand Sweetwater is taking to your mastery quite well, and everyone loves Miss Lucas as well."

"I thank you Fitzwilliam. I confess, I owe it all to you."

" _Do not ever say that again Elizabeth_ _!_ I taught you a few things in two months my father taught me in twenty years. The rest is on your own merits."

" _Thank you, Fitzwilliam_ _!_ It means a lot coming from you."

"Are you off for holidays, Elizabeth?"

"Yes. I am going to take that tour of the continent we talked about. I want to be back before the end of summer, so it will be a short one."

"I hope you enjoy it."

"I shall try. How are you occupying your time."

"You know this is Georgiana's premier season, so I mostly stand around ballrooms with a cricket bat fending off suitors."

"I can well imagine that, but can you tell me one thing? How does one can detect the subtle difference between Fitzwilliam Darcy scowling at a ball with a cricket bat, and Fitzwilliam Darcy scowling at a ball?"

"Haha. I concede the field my lady. Your impertinence is quite intact. Would you be available for supper before you depart? Of course, you must include Miss Lucas and your aunt and uncle, and any other acquaintances you should choose. Georgiana would like to know you, and my cousin the colonel would like to know he is out of your brown books."

"That little imp! Does he not know that was _years ago_ , and I would have quite forgotten the entire matter if he quit bringing it up."

"Can you come to supper?"

"I would not wish to trouble you sir."

"Please Elizabeth. I would greatly appreciate it."

"It would be my pleasure, Fitzwilliam."

* * *

"Bon voyage, Elizabeth. You will come to Pemberley when you return?"

"Yes, Fitzwilliam. I think I would like to see it."

"Safe travels, my friend."


	3. London

_A/N: Welcome back to my little experiment. I have to say that as several of you pointed out, the dialog‑only style is kind of tricky but I am really enjoying it. It leaves an enormous amount to the reader's imagination and everyone who has reviewed is enjoying it. It is a bit tough to deliberately give up half of my toolbox but it's tremendously fun._

 _I am not going to answer any of the questions in the reviews at this time because it's tough to do without spoilers, but I'll have an A/N at the end. A few of you have successfully guessed at least part of the overall story arc, but not all. I enjoy the guesses, so please continue.  
_

 _This chapter is pivotal, and I am in the process of deciding on the story length. My original concept is for 5 chapters, but I might go with 4. All of the chapters are quite long (5-6,000 words), so with my usual chapter length you would now be at around 10, and if I added all the pieces I am leaving to your imaginations, it would be 20 or so._

 _I will give you more later but don't want to spoil the soup with too much sausage making or badly mixed metaphors._

 _I thank you all for making me even more of an insufferable man, so keep the comments and reviews coming._

 _My family in Spain (my wife is from Madrid and eldest daughter was born there) is doing well, and aside from my excessive laziness, all is as it should be._

 _Wade_

* * *

 ** _Mediterranean Sea - June 1815 - 3½ years after Netherfield_**

* * *

"My pardon, Lady Mawbry. Your husband just died."

"I thank you for letting me know, Captain. It was very kind of you to see to our nuptials so suddenly when the fever took. I was very much hoping he would survive, but it seems it was not to be."

"Did you know your husband long, my lady?"

"I knew Lord Mawbry for a bit over two years. He was kind enough to escort me on my planned tour."

"I am sorry for your loss, Lady Mawbry."

"I thank you Captain. It is kind of you to see to my needs. It was important for my husband to secure his inheritance. He very nearly waited too long."

"It was my pleasure, my lady. It was pure good fortune that we had three solicitors and a bishop on board. I doubt there is a single scrap of parchment or drop of ink left on the ship though. That was quite an endeavor. Four days of madness so far as I could tell."

"Yes, it was, Captain. You no doubt noticed it was a marriage of convenience?"

"I would not invade your privacy my lady, but must confess, I am curious about it."

"I trust you to keep my confidence Captain, and it would unburden me to tell someone. My husband, as you noticed was much older than my father. He had no intention of marrying again as he had three very good heirs in line, and he was simply escorting me for a holiday. He was a good friend to me when I needed one. He saved my fortune, and quite possibly my life a couple of years ago, but that is another story."

"Why the change, if I might ask?"

"Please do not look so sheepish Captain. I know your questions might seem a bit presumptuous, but I do not mind in the least so long as the story goes no farther than your wife."

"Thank you, my lady, you may depend on our discretion."

"It is all about the succession, Captain. The Earl quite approved of the first three of his heirs in line, so considered his estates and dependents quite well settled. He even trained the first two in estate management personally. However, all three were killed over two months between a Scarlet Fever epidemic and a carriage accident. It was like the gods specifically targeted his family."

"That is abominable luck!"

"Quite so! He was left with the fourth in line as heir, and the man is a dissolute rake and gambler who would have destroyed five generations of work in a few years. By an odd coincidence, Lord Mawbry was looking for the same nephew in a notorious gambling house when he managed to save my fortune the day I met him."

"If he had the pleasure of your friendship, I am not certain he need repine at his family's luck."

"Thank you, Captain."

"I am curious though… why did he not simply will it to someone else in his family?"

"As he explained it to me, although I do not understand all, or even most of the legal niceties, he could have willed it outright to someone else in his family, but sadly, he had not a single man in his family that was of age and completely trustworthy. In the end, we did this because he trusted me to do the right thing. He has some younger nephews that might be suitable, but they are all too young. He found me trustworthy and competent, so took the least-bad option he had."

"Astounding!"

"Quite so, Captain. I was greatly in his lordship's debt from earlier in our acquaintance, and not inclined to marry again, so when he learned about his other nephews, I agreed to a marriage of convenience to protect his estate. He caught his fever just a few days later. So you see Captain, it is a marriage of friendship and duty that I enter to protect those he was responsible for, and I pick up the yoke with a glad heart. He was one of the best men I have ever known."

"Even if it was a marriage of convenience, it must be very distressing to lose such a good friend on the very afternoon of your wedding. I hope the will and settlements were all done properly, and you at least have no practical concerns."

"Yes, I have no reason to believe differently. Lord Mawbry engaged every solicitor on board to make certain everything was done doubly and triply correctly, signed and witnessed by a dozen witnesses including a bishop and his last week on this earth was spent insuring his family's heritage. He believes it will be contested, but is confident he secured it before he met his end, and left me with several somewhat cutthroat solicitors who will defend me vigorously. I am not overly concerned. Again, I must thank you Capitan for all you and your crew did on our behalf."

"I was just doing my duty, Lady Mawbry. So, you are master now?"

"Apparently so. I inherited five estates and a few hundred thousand pounds, in addition to the one I already had and another for which I am already heir. I have no idea what to do with them."

"I am certain you will work it out madam. Name any service I may provide my lady, and it shall be yours."

"If you could have your steward see to my transportation back to England as soon as it may be arranged to see my new family, I would be most obliged."

"I shall see to it personally, my lady."

"If your concierge could assist my maid with some mourning clothes, I might appreciate that as well."

"Easily done"

"I thank you, Captain. How long until we arrive?"

"Another week ma'am. If you are willing to wait three or four days, I will bring you back to London personally."

"I thank you, Captain. That will be more than satisfactory."

* * *

 ** _London – August 1815_**

* * *

"Miss Bingley, what a surprise."

"Miss Eliza! What are you doing in London? I am all astonishment to see you shopping in such a fashionable area."

"Miss Bingley, may I presume on our long acquaintance and tell you something that you will find educational, and might well help you in your life?"

"Of course, my dear Eliza."

" _Miss Bingley…_ _I was never Miss Eliza to you_ , or at least I would not have been in a world where Bingleys practice basic courtesy. I never gave you leave to call me anything other than _Miss Elizabeth_. Perhaps your lack of understanding of such rudimentary principles of basic civility in all society accounts for the fact that you still carry the appellation of _'Miss_ ' after what must be six or seven seasons?"

"I… I… I… Er…. I…"

"Be easy, Miss Bingley. As your dear friend, I was only trying to be of use."

"You… I… I…"

"Let me assist, Miss Bingley. I shall resolve the ambiguity for you, as neither name is required any more. I am Lady Mawbry now."

"L… L… L… Lady Mawbry?"

"Yes, I am afraid so."

"Lady Mawbry?"

"Yes"

"I… I…. You… Um… Well, I am all astonishment. How did this come about?"

"Oh, the usual way! I married a wonderful man; the best of men really. He was quite my best friend in the world; aside from Mr. Darcy of course. So very amiable, honorable and trustworthy!"

"Ah.. ah…"

"Oh wait! I neglected to mention he was Earl of Mawbry."

"I… er… I… aaam… I… You are wearing black?"

"Yes, I regret to say I am in mourning. My husband recently died."

"I… see…. I… understand… er… I hope he left you… ah… reasonably well settled?"

"Tolerable, I suppose, but I would much rather have my husband and my friend back and be penniless. The Earl left me reasonably well settled. I of course inherited his estates. It is a bit of a nuisance really. I have three in England, one in France and one in Scotland; and naturally I already owned Sweetwater in Sussex, and you have probably already heard that I am heir to Longbourn. My good friend Mr. Darcy has spent a good year teaching me to be an excellent estate master, but it really is a lot and keeps me quite busy."

"Miss Bingley! Miss Bingley! _Miss Bingley_ _..._ , are you well? Miss Bingley! _Let me call your maid. Is there nothing you could take to give you present relief? A glass of wine; shall I get you one? You are very ill."_

"I am… I am… I am fine, Lady Mawbry."

"Are you certain, Miss Bingley?"

"Yes…. Yes… I am… I am… I am… Yes… I am… I must go now."

"Goodbye, _Miss Bingley_."

* * *

 ** _London – Mawbry Townhouse – September 1815_**

* * *

"Kitty, welcome to my home! It is so good to see you!"

"Lizzy… er… Lady Mawbry, it is… it is… Thank you for inviting me."

"Nonsense, Kitty. You may call me Lady Mawbry if we are ever in the presence of some stick up the backside snooty people, but otherwise I am still Lizzy. You and Charlotte are the only two that have that privilege though."

"What do your other friends call you."

"Elizabeth or Eliza. After I married Mr. Collins, I did not want to be called Lizzy. It was… it was too painful."

"I am so sorry, Lizzy."

"For you, Kitty all is forgotten, although in company you will need to be Miss Bennet, and for your friends you may wish to become Catherine."

"How did you get me out of Longbourn so fast Lizzy? It all seems such a whirlwind."

"I imagine nobody at Longbourn has changed very much, or more specifically, either of our parents?"

"Mother gets more and more flighty as time goes by. Jane took a not good but not terrible match a few weeks before you gave us our dowries. Mary is being called on by the new rector in Hatfield, although he seems to have conveniently appeared after she acquired some fortune. Lydia is still Lydia, but she has at least not ruined us yet. Otherwise things are much as they were."

"As I expected. You do know that I gave Jane the dowry anyway, even though she was already married. Uncle approved of her husband."

"What did Jane say about that Lizzy?"

"I have no idea. My solicitor and Uncle Gardiner took care of all the particulars. I am not quite up to reconciliation with her specifically, or the rest of the family generally."

"You can certainly hold a grudge, Lizzy."

"Do you blame me, Kitty?"

"Not in the least. Tell me though, how did you manage to extract me so fast. I would have thought a week insufficient for my mother to pack me and send me off."

"It was quite simple really. I sent my scariest looking footman, who is in actuality as gentle as a lamb but frightening looking. He had a letter with the seal of Earl Mawbry, with a few lines saying your presence was kindly requested in town on a matter of some urgency, but that the coach would bait the horses and leave in _exactly_ one hours' time whether you were on it or not."

"That would explain a lot. Mother was fussing and screaming and bothering and calling for her 'salts' and trying to steal every best dress in the house for the full hour. I finally just walked out the door and got in the coach with just the clothes on my back."

"It matters not, Kitty. I would have sent all the clothes back anyway. You need to be dressed better if you are to be with me."

"I have very little money, Lizzy."

"Of course not. This is my gift. You can keep everything should you ever go back to Longbourn, but it is far likelier you will go to your husband's house. You will also have an allowance from my estates, so do not be concerned."

"I am not ready for marriage, Lizzy."

"Of course not, Kitty. You have time, and I have patience. I can assure you of one thing. Marriage should be done slowly and carefully if at all… very slowly… very carefully."

* * *

"Why me, Lizzy?"

"What do you mean, Kitty?"

"Why did you rescue just me?"

"You consider this a rescue?"

"Do not pretend obtuseness, Lizzy. You do not fool me."

"Very well. Do you remember the few months between when I left Longbourn and when you all finally found out about Mr. Collins and my inheritance?"

"Remember it, it was the second most shameful period of my life. Much worse than my chasing around after Lydia when we were younger."

"Second most, Kitty?"

"The weeks before your wedding was the worst. I will never forgive myself for that."

"You will Kitty… and to that end, I will answer your question. You were the _only_ one in that house who wrote me with genuine contrition and sympathy in those months when you had nothing to gain from it. You are _still_ the only one who has ever apologized once, let alone a dozen times… oh, and by the way, I never want another one. Consider yourself absolved. It all worked out for the best."

"It is difficult, Lizzy."

"I know, but you must think of the past only as it brings you pleasure."

"I shall try. I know you have said that many times in your letters. Have you ever written anyone in the family besides myself."

"A am afraid not Kitty. Some things cannot be forgiven. I will not throw them out into the hedgerows, but neither will I ever step foot in Meryton or Longbourn again."

* * *

"Kitty, I am to offer you a choice… I will be perhaps the first person ever in your life to do so."

"All right, Lizzy"

"I would like you to go with me for the next year or two and learn some things I may be able to teach you. We will bring a companion to teach you some of the things that you never had a chance to learn and I will teach you some about managing estates myself. I learned from the best master in England, so it could be valuable but difficult for you. Somewhere along the line you may find a suitor… or not, it shall be your choice; but if you are with me it will be a lot of work and I will expect very much from you. I will expect more than you ever knew was possible."

"That sounds like a good choice."

"If you want an easier path, I will set you one. You could have a season, and probably find a quite amiable husband with no more work than attending a few months of balls and entertainments."

"I find I like the first choice, Lizzy."

"All right. We are off to the modiste now. I hate to say it, but that dress will have to be burned… today. Let us see if my maid can stuff you into one of my old dresses for the trip to Bond Street."

* * *

 ** _Pemberley – October 1815_**

* * *

"Welcome to Pemberley, Lady Mawbry! Welcome Miss Bennet."

"I thank you, _Mr. Darcy_ , but I am still Elizabeth to you."

"Of course."

"Thank you, Mr. Darcy; Miss Darcy. I feel privileged to visit your home."

"You are most welcome, Miss Bennet. Did you enjoy your visit to Rosings? Are my aunt and my cousin in good health and spirits?"

"Yes, sir. They are and I enjoyed their company immensely. I fear that your cousin Anne quite considers me a little project she is anxious to get started with."

"You will survive it, I believe, Miss Bennet."

"Georgiana, it is good to see you again. You seem to have survived your first season relatively unscathed."

"Yes, Elizabeth, I did. It was diverting, but exhausting."

"No good suitors, I imagine?"

"I must confess that I have developed a true appreciation for the _Infamous Darcy Scowl_. I practice it in front of a mirror when nobody is watching, and study my brother in company to insure I have it right."

"Why Georgiana Darcy, _that is the most unforgiving speech, that I ever heard you utter. Good girl!_ "

"It is solid observation Elizabeth. Just wait; you shall see. I believe the _ton_ is like a giant funnel used to concentrate insincere people in one place to save the rest of the population from bothering with them. Brother's cricket bat came in quite convenient, I can assure you."

"Give it time, Georgiana. Give it time. The presence of your brother, your cousin and Lord Mawbry prove there _are_ at least a few good men left in the world, and even some in the _ton_."

"Yes, I believe you… and… I have time."

"The wisest words ever spoken Georgiana. If you do not care for the marriage mart, perhaps you might tour the continent or America. Perhaps you will get farther than I did."

"How far did you make it?"

"A mile or two past the docks. I imagine I could have gone ahead with the tour, but I felt the weight of responsibility and missed my friend too much."

"Let me express my sympathy, Elizabeth."

"And I shall add mine."

"Thank you, Georgiana… Fitzwilliam."

"Elizabeth… Miss Bennet… you must refresh yourself and then we shall have a light dinner."

"Fitzwilliam, might we call my sister by her given name? Kitty or Catherine will do."

"Of course."

"Welcome to Pemberley my friend. We have missed you."

* * *

" _You could have told me Fitzwilliam!_ This place is everything lovely. You would not have been boasting. I am quite enamored with Pemberley, and extremely vexed at you for not telling me more about it."

"I am vexed this is the first time you have visited, so we are even, Elizabeth."

"Insufferable man!"

* * *

"It is good to see you, my friend."

"Thank you, Fitzwilliam. It is good to see you as well."

"Was it terrible, Elizabeth?"

"Yes… It… I… Well… _it was in every way terrible_. It was far worse than losing my fortune to Wickham. The physician banned me from his bedside and my er… husband agreed. They were very concerned about spreading the disease, so I acquiesced most reluctantly, and my very good friend died mostly alone."

"It was his choice, Elizabeth and I must concur that he did the right thing. Both from a practical standpoint… it would be stupid to risk the protection he had just gone to so much trouble to secure… and I think it would have broken his heart to think he could have made you ill. I know I could not have stood it myself, were I in his place."

"I can only hope you never are, Fitzwilliam."

"I can only hope the same for you."

"I can tell you that I feel it most acutely. He is the only husband I miss in the least. I lost a full third of the men I trusted most in the world, and I feel the loss terribly. It is as if another piece of my soul has been torn off and trampled underfoot. I also feel the weight of my responsibility. I now have several hundreds of people depending on my decisions."

"You are stronger than you give yourself credit for Elizabeth. You will do well."

"Thank you, Fitzwilliam."

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, I believe that I understand you much better than I ever have before. So much about you that was once confusing when I thought you were just an arrogant rich man now makes perfect sense. So much has been explained. So much is clear."

"I… I… I do not know what to say, Elizabeth. I hope you will understand that I would prefer you to be more like the man I am now than the man I was then. In a bit of supreme irony, you are now richer and of more consequence in the world than I am. I have faith you will handle it better than I did."

"Perhaps your earlier incarnation was not to my liking _at the time_ , but I quite like the man you are now, Fitzwilliam."

* * *

"What will you do now, Elizabeth?"

"I have been the past three months in town looking over the ledgers and reports from the stewards. The estates appear to have been managed reasonably well, although not brilliantly. If I did nothing for a year, I do not believe anything terrible would happen, but I need to see the land, talk to the people, do the things the master should do. I think I shall be quite busy for a time… the next year at the least."

"When will you go?"

"Fitzwilliam. I… I… I… I am hoping I could prevail upon your generosity to go with me to ride the estates. It is a lot to ask, but I would feel much better with your wisdom to help."

"You do not _need_ me Elizabeth, but you can always depend on me for anything."

"I thank you Fitzwilliam. That means a lot."

"I also happen to have five purebred horses that could use some exercise. I would be more than happy to ride your lands with you."

"Oh my! I completely forgot about those horses. I hope they are not a burden to you!"

"No, they are not a burden. To the contrary, I have taken the liberty of putting them out to stud, and I ride them quite regularly. They are fine animals."

"That is good, as I intend to give them to you."

"You cannot give everything away, Elizabeth."

"I suggest you have a conversation with Charlotte about my stubbornness. It might save you some vexation. It is very little payback for what you have done for me."

"Do not forget you are talking to the nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. You will not win this argument."

"Never?"

"Never!"

"What about if we compromise?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Split the stud fees in the middle. You keep half, and send the other half to my Uncle Gardiner to increase my investments."

"Agreed"

* * *

 ** _Warwickshire – November 1815_**

* * *

"Charlotte, thank you for coming. Colonel Fitzwilliam, thank you for escorting my friend. I hope I did not cause you any undue problems by asking for you personally. Your general did not seem to think it a terrible inconvenience."

"My pleasure, Lady Mawbry. Escorting Miss Lucas was a pleasure, and my commanding officer considers a request from you to be an order."

"Still the big teaser I see, Colonel?"

"Guilty as charged, ma'am"

"This estate is lovely, Elizabeth. I like it almost as much as Sweetwater."

"Thank you, Charlotte. You know I would much rather have Lord Mawbry occupying it than myself, but it is quite beautiful. I am to understand his Julia did the decoration, and I cannot find a single thing I would change."

"If there is anything, I have not seen it yet."

"Colonel Fitzwilliam, may I introduce my sister, Miss Catherine Bennet."

"Miss Bennet. It is an honor to meet you. I have heard much of you, and none of it exaggerated, I assure you."

"My pleasure, Colonel. Lizzy has told me so much about you."

"It is nice to see you again Kitty… er, Catherine."

"I am still Kitty to you Charlotte."

"Please refresh yourselves, and I shall see you for tea. I have a rather unorthodox request to make. Kitty, I believe you have your lessons?"

"Of course, Lizzy. I shall see you at supper."

* * *

"Colonel… Charlotte… I asked the two of you here for a particular purpose. I would like to ask you to undertake a task together, although the request is far more than a touch officious, and it will take some time and considerable efforts, but I hope you might find it rewarding."

"I am all curiosity, Elizabeth. What task do you have in mind?"

"I wish the two of you to marry, and take possession of Sweetwater."

"You wish us to marry!"

"Yes"

"Marry?"

"Yes"

"Holy wedlock"

"Synonyms, Charlotte."

"Ah… Ahhhh… What do you mean by _possession_ , Lizzy?"

"I mean to give it to you, but only if you marry."

"Just like that?"

"Yes, just like that. Charlotte, I know you have always said before you wish to know as little of your future husband as you could and you just want a good home and an honorable man. You have now been in close contact with this man for the last month, so you know more than you thought you needed to. Colonel, your character is vouched for by two of your cousins and your aunt whom I trust implicitly, so you may well be the only unmarried man I am willing to trust with my oldest friend. I believe being an estate owner and married to Charlotte will be an improvement over crawling through the rain and the mud just to be shot at, would you not agree?"

"Just like that?"

"You will have to say something other than that, Colonel. Charlotte and I have thoroughly canvassed that topic."

"Married!"

"Yes, Colonel. Married."

"How married?"

"Ideally, heart and soul Colonel, but I will leave that to the two to work that out amongst yourselves."

"Owner of Sweetwater?"

"Yes"

"I apologize for my apparent lack of skill in understanding simple English sentences… but, I am all agog, Lady Mawbry."

"I expected such, Colonel. Take your time."

"Very well! Tell me _why_ , my lady."

"Why what, Colonel? Can you be more specific."

"Why _all of it_ _?_ "

"Because Colonel, in the very distorted and somewhat mad concept of familial relationships I have in my mind, you are sort of a cousin I like very much, and Charlotte is my oldest friend and closer than any of my sisters. I believe you two will suit, but if I leave it to you to come to the point, I may die of old age waiting, which would inconvenience me greatly."

"That sounds like either teasing, a prevarication or a half-answer Lizzy. What are you _not_ saying?"

"Richard... Charlotte… I presently own seven estates… _seven_. I have money piled up practically to the ceiling. I think I employ more people just carrying my money around in great barrows than Sweetwater employs altogether. I want Sweetwater to _prosper_. I love that estate. I want it to be what it once was and could be again."

"All right Lady Mawbry, that is a three-quarter answer."

"Colonel, I owe my tenants, tradesmen, schoolmasters, children and everyone else under my care a _proper master and mistress_. I owe my estate the prosperity and care it deserves. Mr. Darcy, Charlotte and I brought it back from the brink of ruin, but it is far from what it needs to be. Charlotte knows what she needs to know, and Fitzwilliam and I will always be here to help you. I just believe the two of you are perfect for each other, and the marriage part of the bargain should not be too much of a chore. Think of it something like bagging three birds with no more effort than having a hound that can fly so you do not even have to load your rifle. I get two people well settled, and my estate taken off my hands with so little effort. I am surprised it is not obvious to you two."

"You are insane, Lizzy!"

"Possibly so, but it is done and done for the best. It is my estate to dispose of as I choose. You are of age and need nobody's permission for anything, Charlotte. Colonel, I have a bit of Lady Catherine in me, and I wish to see you settled. I have had my solicitors prepare everything. That stack of parchments over on that secretary are all prepared, thus showing I am _far_ more arrogant than Fitzwilliam ever dreamed of being. I shall leave the two of you to discuss things. If you do not wish to wed, I will make other arrangements for both of you because I will _not_ watch you ride off to war again Colonel. Charlotte, you are already quite fixed in Sweetwater so you are going nowhere. My estate _does_ demand a married and settled couple, and a few children might liven the place up as well, so _one of you_ is going to have to marry _somebody_ and take up the yoke sooner or later _._ "

"This is extraordinary, Lizzy."

"I warned you that I would demand repayment, Charlotte. Consider this it, and our debts are settled."

* * *

"I am shocked, Colonel."

"I am as well, Miss Lucas."

"Lizzy is mad."

"Yes, her ladyship may well be."

"Barking mad"

"Quite possibly"

"What shall we do?"

"Miss Charlotte Lucas. I need no time or discussion myself. You have had my heart for some time, and I would beg for the honor of your hand in marriage."

"You heard Lizzy say I only wished for an honorable situation and a good home. That was before I met you. After the past months, I do not think I could ever accept anyone else. You have my heart already sir, and I will happily give you my hand."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that! Do not look so surprised, Richard."

"You are truly happy?"

"Happier than I ever thought I could be."

"I wonder how far Lady Mawbry made it."

"If she was her mother, she would be listening at the door. As it is, I suspect we will have to mount an expedition to find her. She knew the outcome before she even sent for us, but she is going to make us suffer a bit."

"Shall we sally forth, then?"

"Let us go my love."

"I like the sound of that."

"That is convenient, as I plan to use such flowery language frequently, despite my supposedly practical bent. You know of course, any woman who professes to practicality on the subject of marriage is just expressing disappointed hopes. I find myself nearly alarmed to not be disappointed anymore."

"So, Lady Mawbry must have been jesting when she said you were entirely practical?"

"Lady Mawbry does not know everything."

"I do not either, but I will, my love."

"As will I, my love."

"She certainly pegged us though, did she not?"

"That she did my love… that she did."

* * *

 ** _Sussex – December 1815_**

* * *

"Well, Elizabeth. That is the last corner of the last estate, at least those in England. Considering how little we found for concern, do you wish to visit the one in France or Scotland."

"Not really. Lord Mawbry suggested I either ignore those or sell them. I will consult with the head of the family first, but I am currently inclined to follow his advice."

"Do you mean your new uncle?"

"Yes, he has written several times. He desires to exert his authority over me."

"Yes, well I desire to exert my authority over the sun and the wind, and expect to have the same level of success!"

"Haha. I am not _quite_ so intractable, am I."

"Not at all Elizabeth. I find you quite agreeable."

"And I find you sometimes capable of professing opinions that are not your own."

"Is this such a case?"

"Perhaps I shall emulate Mr. Bingley and allow you to convince me without effort."

"You mean you give up without establishing _their comparative height and size?_ "

"Insufferable man!"

"I shall take that as a compliment."

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, I have agreed to go back to London and meet the rest of the family. I am trying to find a way to give some or all of Lord Mawbry's land back to the family, but I refuse to give it to anyone I find unworthy, and I am beginning to understand why Lord Mawbry chose me over his own family. His uncle wants me to consider marriage to one of the nephews."

"What are your thoughts on that subject."

"I am _very_ disinclined. I entered marriage once by family authority, once by my own stupidity, and once out of friendship, duty and honor. I will marry for affection next or not at all."

"An admirable sentiment!"

"What about you Fitzwilliam. Is there a Mrs. Darcy somewhere that I do not know about?"

"I am not presently inclined towards matrimony. I have taken steps to insure Pemberley is secure should I never choose to."

"I wish you would."

"Er… Er… Why?"

"Because if you married and were happy, then I could feel like I did not help destroy your life a few years ago. I know I do not hold _all_ the responsibility for that, but you are actually my dearest friend now, and I would like to see you happy."

"I will see what I can do, Elizabeth, but it will be some time. I am even more timid than you."

"Just try to be happy Fitzwilliam. That is all I ask."

 _"I am happy today!"_

"So am I Fitzwilliam… so am I."

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, I mentioned I would like to give the Mawbry lands back to the family without marrying one of them. It appears that it is horrifically complicated to do so, and I keep throwing one solicitor after another at the problem; but I have found no good solution yet."

"You are the only woman I know that is willing to go to so much trouble to get rid of wealth."

"It does have its benefits, but I do feel the weight of it… just like you do."

"Has your new uncle made any good suggestions?"

"He is lazy. He thinks I will marry one of his nephews and the problem will go away. Like most men of his station, the idea of a female under thirty questioning his authority, let alone defying him is quite beyond his ability to comprehend."

"Will you bend to his will?"

" _No, I will not_ _!_ I will not even consider it. Even I have my limits, and I plan on employing an army of my own personal companions and footmen to guard against compromise or other forms of er… persuasion. I can assure you, I shall consider my new family as hostile territory."

"So… what exactly does your uncle want you to do… or at least, what has he asked that you have some small chance of agreeing with?"

"I have another half-year of half-mourning remaining. I will spend it seeing to my properties and making improvements. That will both satisfy me, discharge my duty, and keep Kitty and I conveniently absent from the rest of the family, or at least it will keep me away. I am not certain I can keep Kitty from Rosings for that long."

"Hm… Anne does have a bit of her mother in her."

"Yes, I daresay she does. Half-mourning will end in June. When it ends, my uncle wants me to make my curtsy and then make myself known during the next season. He feels it necessary to maintain the family's standing in society and on and on and on and so forth… at this point, please just imagine a lot more similar blathering."

"Consider it said and understood."

"I will acquiesce to that much in memory of my friend. _One Season_ _._ After that, we shall see. The whole thing is just too raw still for me to make any kind of decent decision."

"May… may… er… may I ask something of you?"

"You know you can ask anything of me, Fitzwilliam."

"When your mourning is over, and you go back into society… may I solicit two sets from you at your first dance."

"It would be my privilege Fitzwilliam… so long as you bring your cricket bat… or possibly that hunting rifle misters Hurst and Bingley kept blathering on about back in Netherfield, what was it… four years ago."

"Consider it done."

"I would ask one more thing of you?"

"Name it"

"I expect the season to be awful, and I know you will hate it as much as I will. Might we… Might we… Might we help each other as friends do to make it bearable. Dance with me when I need a partner, and use me when you need some cover to save you from some matchmaking mama. Rescue me if you see me being inundated and allow me to do the same. Let us try to endure it together."

"I would like that."

"Very well. I will see you in July. I am going to insist on having Kitty do her curtsy as well, so she will be my constant companion; and I will expect to be seeing a lot of Georgiana as well. Lady Catherine and Anne are quite keen to help us with the season, and I am at least looking forward to that part. I have not spent any time with either in some time."

"Be well, Elizabeth. I shall see you in July."


	4. Stockholm

_A/N: Once again, thank you for all the reviews and favs. They're really making my day. This story and its unusual format is really hitting a nerve, and I'm happy to get all the feedback. I have to admit I've never read or heard of a dialog-only story. I certainly didn't invent it, but I do like it. I find I like the fill‑in‑the‑blanks aspect of it._

 _This is the penultimate chapter (second to last), somewhat massive by my usual standards, and I plan to ring in 2018 with the last chapter on the first or second, so hold onto your hats. I finished up this chapter just in time to ring in the new year watching the celbration in Puerta del Sol in Madrid on Spanish TV._

 _If you're curious about my writing process, let me give you a little sidebar._

 _This morning, I was trying to decide between two alternate endings. The first was my original concept of the ending, and the second was a different variation that ended up in about the same place but a bit quicker. Since I'm here in Spain, I managed to consult with a literature professional. She is an expert on all literature in general, and English literature of the 19_ _th_ _century in particular. In fact, she once hosted the most popular radio show on literature in Spain (similar to Fresh Air on PBS). I explained the two possibilities, and she strongly preferred my original concept, so here it is. Yes, you probably guessed it. I asked my wife, Amalia._

 _So here you go, the penultimate chapter just about half as I pictured it when I dreamed this story up and half something I dreamed up walking with my wife and girls in the streets of Madrid._

 _Wade_

* * *

 ** _Stockholm, Sweden – November 1816 – 5 Years after Netherfield Ball_**

* * *

"I very much regret to inform you that your husband is dead, Princess Elizabeth."

"Princess Elizabeth?"

"Princess?"

"Yes, I heard your grace. I got the essentials… Husband… Dead on my wedding afternoon. Somehow, I am not surprised."

"Do you wish to know the manner of his death?"

"Not particularly, but I can see you feel it your duty to tell me, so let us get the miserable chore over with."

"I am sorry to be distressing you Princess."

"Oh, you misunderstand sir. You are not distressing me! I meant _the miserable chore for you._ I believe you to be certain I will react in the accustomed manner. You no doubt expect tears, anger, bitterness or possibly thrown objects… or perhaps laughing and singing… or maybe indifference or a wild spending spree."

"I must own that none of those would surprise me."

"You shall get none of those, save perhaps the indifference. I am not intimidated by death, Lord Chamberlain. Did you know that I was already thrice a widow… in only five years?"

"I am… I… Well… No, Princess, I did not."

"It gets worse, sir."

"Worse!?"

"Yes, worse! You see sir, not one of my four husbands survived the wedding afternoon, so you can see why I am unable to work up the level of vexation that is customary?"

"Astounding!"

"Yes, quite! Interestingly enough, that is the exact word Captain Gwinnett said when my last husband, Lord Mawbry died of a fever in the middle of the sea. Would it make you feel better if I wailed and gnashed my teeth a bit, or used this as a convenient excuse to smash some of the more hideous decorations in this parlor?"

"Would you be expressing joy, sorrow or practicality? I must admit that the idea of smashing some of these trinkets has some appeal."

"Ha-ha! I must say I like you, your grace. You remind me of Captain Gwinnett or my dearest friend, Mr. Darcy, back in England."

"I take that as a compliment ma'am. There seems much to like in your Captain Gwinnett and your friend. I know the captain slightly, and Mr. Darcy has a reputation as an admirable gentleman with a very fine estate."

"Yes, I have to agree on both counts. I also believe Captain Gwinnett's wife would agree with us. Lovely woman. I spent a few weeks in her company when we returned to England. Now I wish I had just stayed there."

"Ahhhmmmm… … well, er…"

"Come your grace, let us get it over with and then perhaps a game of backgammon would be to your liking?"

"You err… like the game?"

"Yes, very much."

"I warn you Princess, I do not yield to anyone in backgammon."

"I must caution your grace that I will thrash you within an inch of your life if you can stand the mortification… actually, I will probably thrash you either way, whether you can stand it or not… … … or perhaps chess is more to your taste?"

"You are quite singular, ma'am. I thank you, but I warn you again, I shall not go down easily. I am not to be intimidated by a Princess of Sweden."

"Do not worry your grace. Who knows… you might even beat me?"

"I shall do my best, ma'am."

"I wonder that you have this disagreeable task your grace. I imagine you either owe the king a favor over some drunken wager you can barely remember, or it is your turn in some obscure rotation of unpleasant tasks, or perhaps you simply drew the short straw."

"I am afraid it was the latter, Princess Elizabeth, but I must say I am not in the least unhappy with this duty."

"Let us get it over with then… please proceed sir while I ring for a dozen footmen to set up the backgammon board."

"You sound a touch cynical ma'am."

"My second forced marriage is not going down all that well your grace. I used to call it impertinence, but it is taking on a harder edge, so cynicism is as good a name as any. May we begin?"

"By all means, let us proceed, ma'am. Your husband became quite enamored with the Four Horse Club whilst in London. Unfortunately, his opinion of his skill does not seem to have been in alignment with his actual skill."

"Why am I unsurprised? The man asked for my hand in marriage after only a single dance… and worse yet, did so at my first ball after leaving mourning for my last husband. The heights of his vanity and arrogance are unparalleled, even for a prince."

"I am curious why you accepted. I quite imagine you could have delivered the setdown of a lifetime to the impertinent whelp… er, most distinguished prince... or at the very least you could deliver a firm and unambiguous _'No'_ to his proposal. You were widow to an Earl who was among the finest of men, and not without consequence or powerful friends back in England."

"Your opinion of my latest late husband the prince, as well as my former late husband the Earl, seems to be in accord with mine, your grace. I must say I appreciate your candor. Back in London it would be frighteningly outside the bounds of propriety, but here in Stockholm I believe we can pretend ignorance of such niceties."

"Ignorance is good. Ignorance I can work with. We could be the two most ignorant people in Sweden."

"One can only hope, your grace."

"So, if it is not rude to ask, _why_ did you agree to his proposal?"

"Well, that is the difficult part, sir. I said he asked for my hand in marriage after a single dance; but unfortunately, he _did not ask me._ "

" **He did not ask you!** Who did he ask? Your father?"

"No sir, he asked the Prince Regent."

"He asked Prinny! That is… that is… that is…"

"Yes, he asked the Prince Regent, and worse yet, he made it a condition of a treaty his courtiers had been negotiating for months, which apparently really put a bee in their bonnets. The Prince Regent accepted on my behalf, and nobody bothered to even tell me until I read it in the paper a week later."

"Egads! Astounding! You did not think to correct the record?"

"Do you think you could deny anything the Prince Regent of England demanded of you, your grace?"

"Probably not"

"I tried. I even managed to get an audience and state my case, clearly, intelligently and forcefully."

"What did he do?"

"Took probably his dozenth glass of wine and _insisted_. He was not very polite about it. I spent a month talking to everyone I trusted, and then everyone I knew, and then everyone I was acquainted with. I talked to the dozen solicitors who work for me regularly, and another dozen. In the end, both the late prince and the Prince Regent dug in their heels, and made some er… well… let us say _threats_ to people under my protection, and the deed was done. I have not the power to oppose the crown, nor do I have the heart to harm others for my intransigence. The threats were… er… severe."

"I… I… I do not know what to say, Princess. I am surprised this did not turn into a big scandal."

"I was judicious in who I talked to. I have learned over the years who to put my trust in your grace, and I am including you in that lot."

"It is my privilege and you may depend on me, ma'am."

"Shall we finish the story, your grace?"

"Yes ma'am… The prince was racing two of his cousins in racing phaetons, and lost control of his team. He was thrown from the coach and trampled by his cousin's horses and then run over by the phaeton. He was quite dead instantly, the physician who examined him believes, and his moral remains are… let us say, we shall not be viewing the remains at the funeral."

"Very well, your grace. Consider your duty discharged… Backgammon?!"

"A pleasure, Princess Elizabeth."

* * *

"Mr. Hopkins, my pleasure to meet you."

"The honor is mine, Princess Elizabeth."

"So, you are to be my keeper?"

"Not keeper, ma'am. You may think of me as your chief steward or man of business. The roles here in Sweden are somewhat different than in England, but not that much. The king has appointed me the task."

"Is that because you had the bad fortune to speak English, so you are stuck with the disagreeable princess?"

"Not at all ma'am. I was late for the appointment because I had to climb over the dead bodies of all the others why wanted the task. You are the most interesting person in the palace."

"You may be the most impertinent courtier in Europe, Mr. Hopkins."

"I try ma'am. Your reputation precedes you."

"Very well. So, tell me how bad my situation is, Mr. Hopkins."

"Well ma'am, your financial position is excellent. You have fourteen estates in Sweden, four in France, two in Prussia, two in Denmark and one in Russia. Add a few vineyards, a half‑dozen minds and assorted other properties and you abouthave it."

"Russia! How did I end up with an estate in Russia?"

"Well ma'am, I believe your husband…"

"Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Hopkins."

"Yes, ma'am"

"Can we agree not to call him _'my husband'_. I do not like to be reminded of the disagreeable event. In fact, may we just put an embargo on all words related to matrimony."

"What do you recommend, Princess?"

"I suppose _'the lunkhead'_ or _'the dead man' or 'the worst horseman'_ would be inappropriate for a prince of Sweden. I could think of several more along that line. Maybe _'the prince'._ "

"That seems acceptable enough, ma'am."

"Very well, carry on, sir."

"Er… the estate in Russia. I believe _the prince_ traded his sister for that."

"Say that again!"

"My pardon ma'am, that came out wrong. His sister _badly_ wanted to marry a nobleman in Russia, and _the prince_ decided to squeeze him for his own amusement. The prince kept demanding more and more, just waiting to see what would be too much. By the time he got to the estate, he had tired of the game but the deed was done and the crown had one more estate."

"Astounding!"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Is it a good estate? I am considering getting banished there."

"I doubt the king will let you out of Stockholm, or even the palace grounds for some time. It is a bit of a matter of… er… pride for him."

"Mr. Hopkins, I am learning Swedish for the sole purpose of bludgeoning the king into submission until he lets me go back home."

"It may take some time, Princess."

"Yes, I imagine it will. So, am I rich as Croesus?"

"Yes, ma'am. You have some control over your estates, but the crown maintains an interest. They will not _quite_ yours to do with as you will as you did in England, but you do have a considerable amount of autonomy. Perhaps you can find enough interest in their management to while away your mourning. I understand you to be a very active estate manager."

"So, you are suggesting I work to increase my already obscenely big income to stave off boredom?"

"Or perhaps, you can work to make the several thousand people under your protection slightly better off."

"That sounds workable. I do not suppose the king will allow me to ride my estates?"

"There is no chance whatsoever, Princess. For appearances sake, he wishes you to be visibly mourning for a year or two, and you cannot be visibly mourning and riding your estates at the same time."

"I did in England."

"Were you a princess in England?"

"No"

"There you have it."

"I see. So, this prison will take some time to escape."

"I am afraid so ma'am, but if it is your desire to do so, I will start working on it straightaway."

"Do you judge my chances of success good."

"I shall do my best, ma'am."

"That is not an answer."

"It is what I have, ma'am."

"Very well. What strategy do you suggest, sir."

"Inattention and boredom ma'am. Follow the king's dictates for the mourning period, and hope he forgets all about you when it is done. Then I will think furiously about how to hand your lands back to the crown. There is no chance whatsoever that you will leave with your lands intact."

"I do not want my lands, nor do I want my settlements. I just want to go home."

"Let us work towards that end, ma'am."

"An admirable strategy, sir."

* * *

 ** _Stockholm – April, 1817_**

* * *

" **Lizzy… Lizzy… Lizzy… Lizzy…** "

"Kitty, Anne… it is so wonderful to see you. You sly devils, you never told me you were coming."

"Where would be the fun in that, Lizzy… Oops, I mean, Princess Elizabeth."

" **Not you too, Kitty!** "

"You mean I can still call you Lizzy?"

"Of course, you are still my sister. And the same goes for you, Anne. General Bristol, it is good to see you. Are you taking care of Anne as you should?"

"Yes, ma'am. I meet Lady Catherine's approval, so I shall hope for yours."

"General, if you are good enough for Lady Catherine, you are certainly good enough for me. I wish she could have made the trip."

"Me too, Lizzy."

"And who is this unknown gentleman?"

"Princess Elizabeth, may I present Mr. Hidalgo. Mr. Hidalgo, my sister, Elizabeth, Princess of Sweden."

"An honor to meet you, Princess."

"A pleasure, Mr. Hidalgo."

"Lizzy, Mr. Hidalgo is my physician. He managed to get rid of that cough I have had since we were children."

" _You did_ _!_ Mr. Hidalgo, I believe you are my new hero. Pray tell me, what was the remedy?"

"Believe it or not Lizzy, it is food! I appear to be intolerant of certain foods like milk and cheese."

"I am all astonishment! Mr. Hidalgo, I commend you on your perspicuity."

"It was my pleasure, Princess."

"I must also commend you on your diligence sir. Trailing a single patient over 1,500 miles by ship when you have already cured her seems a bit… er… excessive?"

"Lizzy, you have found me out. He is not just…"

"Not just… what, Kitty?"

"He is… he is…"

"Come, come, Kitty. Just say you are betrothed and get it over with… unless of course, you are already married."

"Sometimes you are too smart for your own good, Lizzy."

"That is not a stellar example of my observational skills, Kitty. You can hardly take your eyes off him, and I am not at all certain he has heard anything I said so far. Shall I quiz him? Can you repeat anything I just said, Mr. Hidalgo."

"You are cruel Lizzy. He has in fact proposed, and I have accepted. We have Uncle Gardiner's blessing, but wanted to get yours."

"How would you like to get married from the Swedish Royal Palace?"

"You are insane, Lizzy."

"Excellent, I shall take that as a _'yes'_."

* * *

 ** _Paris – July 1817_**

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, I am so happy to see you. Thank you for coming to visit me."

"Princess Elizabeth, it is my privilege."

"Not you too! I will not abide it, Fitzwilliam. I get enough 'Princess' from the courtiers."

"Hah! Kitty owes me a crown. Silly woman though it might take you two sentences to correct me."

"You know me well, my friend."

"I am sorry I could not come with Kitty and Anne in April, Elizabeth. As you well know, the winter of 16 was very bad."

"Yes, and you had seven estates to care for, did you not?"

"You have caught me out, I see."

"I appreciate it Fitzwilliam. It nearly killed me not to be there. I truly would like to get rid of every single estate I own."

"Would it be intemperate for me to say I am happy the prince is dead."

"Intemperate, but both accurate and in accordance with my thoughts."

"We rarely seem to disagree on anything of substance… well, only the once."

"Do not look so sad, Fitzwilliam. We are two of the most consequential people in Europe. We should be happy."

"I imagine so."

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, I have been reviewing our long history, and have determined that you are the _only_ person of my acquaintance who has sufficient exposure, sense and education to answer a most important question. Everyone else has missed an essential time of my life. May I ask for your opinion on this matter?"

"Consider me at your disposal, Princess."

"Insufferable Man!"

"Impertinent Princess!"

"Ask your question, Elizabeth."

"I shall indeed, good sir. _Is this_ in fact the most god-awful-hideous mourning dress I have ever worn? It has all the worst attributes of formal court dress and horrid widow's weeds."

"Fitzwilliam!"

"My pardon, Elizabeth. I am afraid my levity is not quite up to seeing you in mourning again… and…"

"and…"

"And this dress might look awful on anyone else, but I just think you look wonderful."

"Why thank you, Fitzwilliam. I do not know what to say."

"You need say nothing, Elizabeth. We both know the world is as it is."

"Yes, Fitzwilliam. We certainly both know that. We are two of the luckiest people in Europe, and have not the slightest thing to repine about, and yet…"

"… and yet, we do."

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, I am so sorry I could not make it to Georgiana's wedding. You would think a princess could do anything she wants to, but I fear that is a myth."

"As is the myth of invincibility for masters of estates. She missed you, but you were in our thoughts."

"You shall tell me everything there is to know about the ceremony, sparing no detail."

"Since I am certain you have copious notes from Anne, Lady Catherine and Georgiana herself, are you planning to test my knowledge."

"Insufferable man!"

"Impertinent Princess!"

"I did not think she would take such extreme measures just to avoid another season."

"Take my word for it, she did not just take the easy way out. This was a love match, and I could not be happier. The poor man had to survive the gauntlet of myself, Richard _and_ Lady Catherine."

"That sounds frightful."

"It gets worse!"

"Egads! Worse?"

"Yes, there was Anne as well."

"She told you to say that!"

"Guilty"

* * *

"I have missed our conversations, Fitzwilliam. I shall be sorry to see you go."

"Have you met anyone in the palace that you esteem, that you do not mind spending time with?"

"Yes, you know me, Fitzwilliam. I am not made for melancholy or isolation. I sometimes wish I was more so, as I might not have been at that ball if I had just been a bit more stubborn. However, the bed has been made and I am lying on it as best I can. Now that I speak the language more or less, I have acquired some acquaintances, some allies and some true friends. Nothing like what I had at home… but enough… for the moment."

* * *

"Elizabeth, have you any hope of escaping the Royal Family. I know it is not to your liking."

"I know not, Fitzwilliam. I truly do not. It was difficult enough to get this trip to Paris, and England is out of the question for the moment… but I am working on…"

"May I know of it… May I assist in any way?"

"No, Fitzwilliam. You cannot, but I do thank you. And I cannot thank you enough for helping with my estates."

"You do know it is not _just_ me, do you not?"

"I do not take your meaning."

"I know you have been acting as master as best you can, and I have been looking after all your estates as best I can, but I have had a lot of help. Kitty and Anne have been to most of them, and even Lady Catherine has been to the two that are closest. There is nothing terribly wrong at any of them, but they have gone to show the tenants and villagers that they are not being neglected, and everyone there holds you in the highest esteem."

"Fitzwilliam, I do not know what to.. I do not… I do not…"

"You need not say anything, Elizabeth. We all do it for the best of reasons."

"Why did Kitty and Anne say nothing on their visit?"

"They would have thought it boasting I suspect."

"They are a bit silly."

"Not really. They just love you, as we all do."

* * *

 ** _Stockholm – November 1817_**

* * *

"Charlotte! Richard! Welcome back! Do not delay a second. Get on with your most important task, I beg of you."

"Very well, will you do the honors, my dear?"

"Of course, my love. Princess Elizabeth, may I have the pleasure of introducing to your acquaintance Miss Elizabeth Catherine Fitzwilliam."

"Charlotte… you did not… you did not… Well, I am speechless."

"I will refrain from the obvious comment, Lizzy. You have heard it from Lady Catherine before."

"Thank you, Charlotte. She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld. Why did you not tell me?"

"And miss a silent Princess Elizabeth! I think not!"

"Elizabeth, I must agree with your assessment. Little Lizzie has thankfully more of her mother's features than mine."

"Richard, you get worse and worse every year... more and more accurate in this case, but still worse."

"Guilty as charged, ma'am. Now come take your namesake, Elizabeth. I shall leave you to become acquainted. I have been reliably informed there is a glass of brandy and a cigar with my name on them in the study."

* * *

"Charlotte, she really is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. I am as happy for you as it is possible to be."

"Thank you, Lizzy."

"Lizzy, you know of course that both Anne and Kitty are increasing?"

"Yes, they have both written to me. Almost all the most important people in my life are getting on with… well, I shall stop before I start."

"You feel some bitterness, Lizzy."

"Do not fret Charlotte. I am not made for melancholy. I will get over it."

* * *

"Charlotte, do you know what day it is?"

"Not exactly, Lizzy."

"It is the 26th of November. Today is exactly six years after the great ball at Netherfield. Can you imagine my mother's reaction if I had refused to dance with Mr. Collins on the basis that I would be a princess someday?"

 _"Good gracious! Lord bless me! Only think! Dear me! A princess of Sweden! Who would have thought it! And is it really true? Oh! my sweetest Lizzy! How rich and how great you will be! What pin-money, what jewels, what carriages you will have!"_

"Oh, you make me laugh, Charlotte. That was pitch-perfect."

"Have you ever contacted the rest of your family, Lizzy? I am _not_ saying you should mind you… I am just curious."

"I… I… I have begun a correspondence with Jane. We will never be what we were, but we will not be entirely estranged for our whole lives. She has apologized for those awful months and… well, I have done my best to forgive her… more or less. Someday, we may be able to meet again. The rest are… well, let us not speak of them. They still write, but my secretary has been reading all my post from Hertfordshire for years, and telling me the essentials. I do not have the heart to read them directly."

"Is that all? Only Jane? How did you pick her? You two were the closest sisters I ever saw in my life."

"Yes, and that is why her betrayal hurt so much. Who cared if Lydia or Mother treated me ill. It would be indistinguishable from their normal behavior, and them throwing me to the wolves was just the logical next step in our relationship. Mary with her moralizing sermonizing never for a single second of her life doubted that I should have just done my duty without complaint... but Jane and Papa… Jane and Papa… Jane and Papa… I _trusted_ them… I _loved_ them… I _needed_ them, and when I most needed the love of my family, when I was most desperate, do you know who I had? Out of everyone I had ever known in my life, do you know who came to my defense?"

"Lizzy… Lizzy… Elizabeth"

"Only _you_ Charlotte. Only you. Kitty was repentant within weeks, but none of the others gave the slightest sign of repentance until they had something to gain from it… _after_ they learned of my inheritance from gossip. _That_ is very difficult if not impossible to forgive. Kitty was full young, but she made a real effort to change herself and you see the results. Jane was the next to show _some_ repentance, and in the end, I think she truly eventually felt dreadful about the episode… although much too late to do me any good should Mr. Collins have survived. The rest are irredeemable… they only showed greed or indifference. Only you, Charlotte, of all the people I thought I knew and trusted were completely steadfast start to finish."

"Is that why you gave me Sweetwater, Elizabeth?"

"Not really. I gave it to you for the exact reasons I said. It needed a master and mistress, and you were the only one I trusted who did not already have an estate."

"So, you are saying you trusted Mr. Darcy, even back then?"

"Of course I did! He has been the best man I know for quite some time. I thought you knew that, Charlotte."

"I did… I just wanted you to say it Lizzy."

"It is restating the obvious, Charlotte."

"I know Lizzy, but I wish you to remember. Even in this snake pit you must live in now, there must be good men… worthy men… trustworthy men, and you will always have us as your friends."

"Yes, perhaps there are some worthies here, and I appreciate the sentiment."

* * *

"Lizzy, you look stunning in the new clothes."

"Yes, Charlotte. Who would have thought that grey could see as bright as the orange Miss Bingley used to wear? All it takes is several years of unremitting black."

"Well Elizabeth, since I had the pleasure of the last few weeks with the two most beautiful women in Sweden, I can say that I certainly have nothing to repine."

"Still the charmer I see, Richard."

"No, that was my military training Elizabeth. I speak as I find, and that was a careful and accurate survey of the landscape."

"Thank you, Richard. Go fetch my namesake for me. At least she will not fill my head with pretty words."

* * *

 ** _Stockholm – December 1817_**

* * *

"Elizabeth, can you tell me about the Royal Family. Have you come to know a lot of people in the court? What are they like?"

"They are much like a normal family, Charlotte."

"How so?"

"Well… Quite a number are just like Lydia, Mama or Miss Bingley… selfish, immature, unafraid, loud, vulgar and willing to do anything or step over anyone to get what they want."

"That seems unkind Elizabeth."

"You sound like Jane once did. Do you want accurate assessments or kind ones?"

"Accurate. Pray continue."

"Some of those carry on that way their whole lives and it is just a matter of luck whether they prosper because of their unrelenting selfishness, or drive everyone away until they die friendless and alone."

"You think that will be the fate for your mother and Lydia."

"It seems the most likely."

"A bit of a bitter assessment, Elizabeth… but I must own, probably prescient."

"We shall see, Charlotte. We shall see."

"What else?"

"A very large number, especially among the courtiers are just like fourteen-year-old Kitty was, or maybe Mrs. Hurst, or to a slightly lesser extent, Mr. Bingley. They pick someone to follow, and then follow them with the devotion and lack of sense of the stupidest hound. The last real decision they ever make in their life is who to follow, then they just trail along like a trout on a line."

"That seems… disturbing."

"But you can agree."

"Yes, I do not doubt it. I see that in the society we occupy. Richard could find you dozens of such examples in the army."

"Hundreds more likely."

"Yes, that seems right."

"Then there are what I would call the collaborative competitors. People whose entire life is a meaningless competition for one-upmanship in an obscure game made up just for their amusement. Whether it is fashion or social status or dance steps or gossip… they are cutthroat in their ambitions, but quite dependent on their competitors for an audience. They are like your mother and mine, along with Aunt Philips. Take away any one and the entire edifice collapses under its own weight because there is nothing of substance there to start with, but they will all play the game until they die. I believe I am describing most of the first circles of society, or the infamous _ton._ "

"I never saw it quite that way, but it makes sense."

"I have a lot of time to think, Charlotte."

"I think not, Elizabeth. You had lots of time to think when you were in Hertfordshire, but you did not have the experience to do so. Now you are becoming wise, I believe."

"You will turn my head, Charlotte. Shall we continue?"

"I cannot wait."

"Of course, in a place like this, there are many-many-many who are simply selfish and lazy and just want to be left alone to pursue whatever they want to pursue and want to be ignored except at mealtimes. I need not name the prime example for that behavior."

"No, I understand the implication."

"Among the higher levels of the church, I find many just like Mary… moralizing sermonizers with no understanding of anything outside their own tiny lives. They would quite make me despair, but then just when I am about to give up on the lot, I find one like Jane was… loving, kind, able to think the best of everybody and expend any effort to help them be good and kind. Then I find some that are as intelligent as Fitzwilliam, or as tactical as your husband or as kind as Mrs. Long or best of all, a combination of all of those attributes. In the end, they turn out to be very interesting so long as you ignore the worst of them."

"Maybe you just described everyone, Lizzy."

"Perhaps"

"Are there more?"

"Among the military, I find many like your husband… dedicated, honorable, brave… do not look at me that way, Charlotte… I know things your husband would not tell you. He earned my approbation the hard way."

"I am not certain I want to know, Lizzy."

"That is good, as I have not the slightest intention of telling you. Drag it out of him if you want to know, but I believe you do not. Nobody likes the ugliness of war, but when our home and livelihood is threatened, as it most certainly was while we were both young and ignorant, men like him were in the breach fighting for their lives to save us."

"I will agree with that, Lizzy."

"Then there are the Wickhams of the world… _apparently_ cultured, _apparently_ well read, _apparently_ well informed, _apparently_ brave and honorable…. but really just a Chimera. I have seen more of those than I care to name. I once saw a general who presented the results of a campaign to the king that he supposedly managed, and he obviously had not the slightest idea of what actually happened once he was questioned."

"What happened?"

"Well… King Charles was on one of the days when he actually attended to his duties, which are not as common as you might hope, and when he found out the man was lying to his face, he had him taken out and hanged. He did not care about the campaign, nor that the man was lying, but that the rest of the court knew both things… and that he could not abide. He cannot stand to be embarrassed. He appointed the sergeant that actually managed the campaign as a general, and then forgot the entire matter."

"Oh, Lizzy. How do you stand it."

"I stand it because I must, Charlotte."

"Are there others?"

"Well… well… Charlotte… Then, there are a few… I must admit, a very few who are…"

"Who are what, Lizzy? Do you mean _'few'_ Lizzy, or do you mean _'one'?_ "

"The latter, Charlotte."

"Can you tell me, Lizzy."

"I… I would need to ask you to keep my confidence… even from your husband, which is too much to ask."

"I shall give it, Lizzy. Richard understands the occasional need for secrecy as well as anyone."

"There is Prince Gustav."

"And?"

"He is honorable, constant, kind to all from the meanest street urchin to the king, intelligent and energetic in his quest to make the world a better place. He can think tactically and strategically, tries his best to think well of everyone, but he is not in the least bit naïve and has a backbone of iron. I must admit that he is among the best of men. He reminds me of…"

"You can say it Lizzy. He reminds of you Darcy."

"Yes"

"What are you leaving out, Lizzy?"

"There are many… well… many in the court, including the king, who would like to see me married to him. They are exerting… er… pressure… pressures I cannot tell you."

"What kind of pressure, Lizzy?"

"I cannot say… just that my marriage is… complicated. It is not just a couple saying some vows before God. It is governed by an international treaty, as well as the laws of two countries and the church; and the fact that I still own considerable property in England. There are factions within the court that want… different things. Then there is the king and the Prince Regent, both of whom have vested interests in it. There are… pressures being brought to bear."

"I see… … Are you… considering it, Elizabeth?"

"I am."

"For certain"

"Yes"

"If this prince is as described, it does not sound like doing your… er… duty would be a punishment. He sounds like a wonderful man."

"No, it would not. He can easily stand beside the best men I have ever known."

"And yet, you have not decided."

"No, I have not."

"Why?"

"Charlotte… do you… do you…"

"Go ahead Lizzy. I can see it is very difficult."

"Charlotte, do you think that a person can have a second or third great love of their life?"

"Do not look so sheepish Elizabeth. You look like you are about to collapse."

"I assure you Charlotte I am not… and you are prevaricating."

"Well Elizabeth… I do believe so. In fact, I quite depend on it. I could not…"

"Could not, what?"

"Well… um… It is an article of faith for me Elizabeth. Before you tossed Richard and I in a sack long enough for my first great love of my life to come to my attention, I did not even believe in a single great love. But once you have felt it, there is no choice but to believe in the possibility of a second. It is like a black swan. It is easy to believe all swans are white, and to go through your entire life believing so, as you never encounter one that is not white. But once you have seen a single black one, there is no choice but to believe there is another."

"I do not quite understand, Charlotte?"

"Do you see that babe over there Elizabeth? The one I would happily give my life for?"

"Yes"

"It is our lot in life as women, Elizabeth. We cannot have the children that fill our days and our hearts without risking our life in the process. Every time we go to our husband's bed, we take the chance that it will kill us, but we also take the chance that it will fill us with joy for all the years left to us. You cannot think upon it all the time, and most probably do not think on it at all… but for someone like you or me, someone introspective, we must give it some consideration. I must… I must…"

"Go on, Charlotte"

"Richard is not yet thirty. He should live thirty or forty more years. Imagine Elizabeth, a life where there was no love… no chance for love in all that time… as if the only black swan in the world had been killed. I could not bear it. It would kill me to condemn him to that fate. I _must_ believe he could have another great love or I do not know how I could bear the chance of leaving him."

"Do you feel the same for yourself, should Richard meet his end?"

"Certainly… I think we only limit our loves through our own fears and insecurities, Elizabeth. I think anybody can have a great love, or as many as providence allows. Having a second love does not preclude or disparage the first, any more than my love for little Lizzy degrades the love I have for my husband. We are stronger than we think we are, Elizabeth."

"That makes sense. In fact, I think if you stick two people of admirable character together, and they are kind and cooperative and compassionate with each other, and build a life together, I believe some kind of love is inevitable. That is what I counted on when I stuck you and Richard together… although I must say in your case the process was much more efficient than I could have hoped for."

"Yes it was… either you are a genius, or just lucky."

"I would assume the latter, Charlotte."

"How does it pertain to Prince Gustav, Elizabeth? You say you are considering marriage to him… seriously considering it. Do you think you could feel enough love for him to fulfill your life?"

"Yes, I could easily… As I said, he is among the very best of men… except…"

"Except what Lizzy?"

"Except he is already very deeply in love… with a woman that the king thinks is too far beneath him

"Oh!"

"Oh!"

"Do you know the woman?"

"Yes. Her name is Sophie. She is… she is in character, intelligence, wit and loveliness exactly as the prince needs, and she is as in love with him as he is with her."

"Oh"

"To make matters more confusing, I love her as ardently as I ever loved any of my sisters. Marrying him would be like killing my own sister if not…"

"If not…"

"She is the most frightfully intelligent woman I know, and has the very best character… but I do _not_ know if she would survive such a union if she had to stay here and watch us. She cannot marry the man she wants, but she very well might not leave the area either. She would _have to_ somehow bury her first love and find another, while her first love weds another. The same is true for the prince, and… and… and for me."

"Oh! May I assume I know your true love?"

"You may."

"Why does the king find her beneath him?"

"You would not believe it."

"Try me."

"Because she is the second of three daughters of a minor squire in a little market town a half‑day from Stockholm!"

"No!"

"Yes"

"I… well… How is she unacceptable when you are not, Elizabeth?"

"Well Charlotte, remember the games I mentioned. Position in society is like that. It is like climbing to the top of a cathedral. You can only climb one flight of stairs at a time, but once you have climbed that flight, the people on that floor do not care about anything except the last elevation. People on the fourth floor can see nothing but the fifth and the third, and are almost unaware of the ground."

"I do not understand!"

"I started a lowly penniless and impertinent gentlewoman, with nothing to recommend me but my charms, such as they were. Then I was a widow of a 'respectable' clergyman and friend of Catherine and Anne de Bourgh. That was a step up in status, and not a jump that anyone would consider remarkable."

"Go on"

"After Wickham, I was, believe it or not, a respectable widow and a landowner. It was another step up. Anyone could see me going from respectable wife to landowner, but going from penniless daughter to landowner would have stretched credulity. I could take one flight of steps but not two at a time."

"I… guess that makes sense."

"Then I was the widow of an Earl. Had Lord Mawbry married penniless Elizabeth Bennet, it would have set tongues a-wagging, and my reputation would have been decimated. I would have been considered a fortune hunter of the worst order… _but…_ since I was already a landowner, it was not as big of a stretch."

"It makes a perverted sort of sense. So, widow of Earl to Princess… same thing?"

"Yes, you see."

"So, is there any way to raise her status short of a series of short-lived husbands?"

"I have not found one. I tried to settle an enormous amount of money on her… several hundred thousand pounds, but that did not satisfy anybody."

"Why not?"

"Two reasons. She is still the insignificant daughter of an insignificant squire, but that was not the main reason. The king wants _all_ my lands and fortune back with the crown… ideally he would also like my English lands, but fortunately I have an obvious ally in the Prince Regent there. It is remotely possible I could send the Mawbry lands back to the heir I like… the dissolute one has died, and the younger is of age now… but it would require a marriage and some protracted negotiations."

"It sounds…"

"Complicated… Awful… Terrible… Pick your poison, Charlotte. They all apply."

"So, you are considering marrying him… ideally in a manner where he survives it?"

"Impertinent Miss!"

"Agreed"

"Yes, I am seriously considering it. If I marry him, it will solve a lot of problems for a lot of people, and it may be the _only_ way for _some_ of us to have true happiness, but it _could_ easily crush the three most important people in the world to me, and yet…"

"And yet, Elizabeth?"

"It might also…"

"Go on…"

"Well… Um… It _might_ allow Fitzwilliam to finally abandon me and find a way to be happy. I do not believe anything short of me marrying another man that survives the wedding day, or my death will release him from that. Perhaps that is overly arrogant for me to think, but I cannot help but believe that his happiness is suspended. He is three and thirty, and he is just existing… he is not living."

"What about you, Elizabeth. You are not living either. Is Fitzwilliam the only one that would have to give up the love of his life and try to start over, or would you be among that lot?"

"Yes"

"And Sofia, you think she may be in the same boat?"

"Yes"

"So, you will either crush four people, save all four, or something in between."

"Yes"

"And it all depends on your decision… well, you and Prince Gustav anyway?"

"Yes"

"Oh, Elizabeth? How do you bear it? Is there _truly_ no other way to escape."

"Charlotte… I told you Prince Gustav is as smart as Fitzwilliam is, or as I am, and Sofia is in the same league."

"Yes"

"Three of the four smartest people I know have not found a way to untie the knot. We have _not one but two_ sovereigns whose pride is on the line, and millions of pounds of wealth in the balance, not to mention the complexities of the marriage and inheritance."

"Oh!"

"Also… well… Monarchs have many ways to rid themselves of those that er… annoy them. I suspect if it was not a matter of pride to _our_ Prince Regent, I would already be gone from the court to… well, best to not think about all the places the king _could_ send me, if he were not anxious to have me wed to his son. There are other ways for the crown to control my fortune."

"Oh, Elizabeth."

"I am sorry to put the burden of this knowledge on you Charlotte. I once said our debts were all paid, and now I am piling more up."

"No Elizabeth, I would have it no other way. Is there truly no hope?"

"There is always hope Charlotte, but at the moment, faith is the only hope we have."

"Does Fitzwilliam know any of this?"

" _He most certainly does not, and you will not tell him!_ "

"I give my word. I will not tell my husband either."

"Charlotte… I am… I am… I am searching with all my might to find a solution where we all can be happy, and I have only found a single solution where there is the slightest chance we _all could_ be happy… if our characters allow it… eventually."

"Lizzy, I do not like the sound of this."

"I imagine you do not like the _eventually_ part of it?"

"Among others. You are frightening me. What is this perhaps least‑terrible plan you will engage if you cannot find a better one?"

"Lizzy?"

"Lizzy!"

"If we cannot find a better solution Charlotte, I will marry Prince Gustov and…"

"And…?"

"… and I will _beg_ Fitzwilliam to marry Sofia, take her back to England and be happy."


	5. Cádiz

_A/N: Sorry for the evil cliffy… actually, I'm not sorry at all but will pretend to be ;)_

 _Wade_

* * *

 ** _Los alcornocales, Cádiz, España – July 1818_**

* * *

"Lizzy, it is so-so-so good to see you."

"You know what I demand, Kitty! Do not vex me!"

"Very well. I know that determined look. Princess Elizabeth, may I present to your acquaintance Señor Luis Hidalgo Bennet. I hope you do not expect a bow."

"I think not, Kitty. I am quite in love with him already. Shall we start planning his wedding to Little Lizzy right now, or wait a fortnight?"

 _"It is good to see you, Lizzy!"_

" _It is good to be here, Kitty!_ How is your Spanish coming along?"

"Not as good as your Swedish or French Lizzy, but well enough. I can talk to my son."

"He is two months old, Kitty… It is not likely to be all that challenging."

"I will get there Lizzy. I love it here and never want to leave."

"Will you show me your husband's surgery?"

"Of course, Lizzy. Do you wish to prove you can walk on land first and refresh yourself?"

"Yes, that seems a fine idea. Do you have tea here?"

"This is Spain Lizzy. We shall have meriendas. If you want tea, you can cross the border to Gibraltar."

"Well… I might just be sneaking over to Gibraltar before we are done Kitty, but that is a discussion for another time."

"Welcome, Lizzy."

* * *

"Are you happy here, Kitty?"

"Yes Lizzy, I own that I am. It is wonderful to be back in the bosom of a real family, and my new one is everything wonderful. You know my husband would never have been in England at all if not for the war, and I always knew we would most likely move here… now… well…"

"Yes, I understand. Kitty, has the gossip followed you here?"

"No, somehow it has not, Lizzy. People here are either impervious to or amused by English gossip. Nobody cares very much. Imagine though! A younger sister hanged! It is difficult to imagine Lydia with everything in her favor… a large dowry… excellent connections, even if you were estranged… a lively spirit… a pretty countenance… really, every advantage. How is it possible she ended up doing such a heinous crime just because she could not take up with a man honorable enough for Uncle Gardiner and live a respectable life."

"Yes, even with my abysmally low exactions for Lydia, I never expected her to actually degrade our name so far. Perhaps, I should have reached out and tried to save her before it was too late, but I just did not have it in me."

"You were not her mother or father, Lizzy."

"I know, but perhaps I could have done more. Ah well, she is gone now. I imagine every relative of a condemned person feels the same."

"Did the scandal follow you, Lizzy?"

"No, surprisingly, it has not. I have been separated from the Bennet name for too long. Everyone I knew back then would never break a confidence and nobody in Meryton has the slightest idea what happened to me, and I am hoping nobody ever does. I last used the name Bennet back in my mourning period for Wickham. The name is not unknown, but I just believe nobody has ever connected all the pieces. Bennet is a common name, and I have never once mentioned Longbourn since I left, nor contacted anyone in Hertfordshire except you and Charlotte. That is all that has saved me. Can you imagine the scandal if people knew she was my sister; or what she would have done had she found out what connections she had. I can barely escape the palace as it is."

"Well, Lizzy, Lydia drove me from England sooner than we had planned, but it was all for the best. I have a son now, and no need to think of Hertfordshire ever again."

"That is as it should be. I am sorry I could not come help you across the sea, Kitty. The king still will not allow me to step foot on English soil. Gibraltar is the closest I can get, and he will be quite vexed with me if he finds out I plan to go there."

"My husband, Fitzwilliam and Anne took good care of me Lizzy. You need not worry. I was well protected, and you taught me to take care of myself anyway."

"Still, you are my sister and I was worried… and very desirous of being with you."

"It was done and done well, Lizzy. Rest easy."

* * *

"Lizzy, you must try these peppers. They are called Padróns. They are mostly mild, except a hot one is in there once in a while to keep you on your toes. Nobody can tell which ones are hot, though so you just have to eat them and take your chances. They are quire delicious fried in olive oil."

"That sounds… er… interesting."

"Come, come now Lizzy. You are no longer a stuffy English lady. You are about half a Viking. Are you to be intimidated by a vegetable?"

"I guess my courage must rise to every dish here, Kitty."

"This is nothing, Lizzy. The colonies in the New World eat things that would catch the table on fire if you dropped them."

"Let us not get ahead of ourselves, Kitty. I shall try the padróns, and some of that tortilla."

* * *

"Lizzy, I am very-very happy to have you here, but you did not travel 2,000 miles by ship to tell me about Lydia. You have the look of someone with something to say."

"Father is dead."

"Not that surprising."

"Not really. In my mind, he has been dead these six years since I left Hertfordshire. I have just been waiting for his body to catch up with his mind."

"Some would think that unkind Lizzy, but since he never _really_ tried to make it up to you, I am not among them. In the end, it was only Lydia's behavior that finally called him to account? Otherwise, he just spent the time after you left doing just what he did before you left."

"I assume so."

"You did not come here to tell me that either, Lizzy."

"No, I did not. I came here to take care of some… business, and I need my business with you to… er… distract certain people, but I must warn you; I am going to ask you to do something that may bring a lot more scandal."

"What can I do, Lizzy? My husband and I are impervious to such. How can we help you?"

"I need you to trade your estate in England for one in Spain… and I need it to require quite a few solicitors and a bit of noise. Ideally, we will find one close to here that needs many repairs, or that is embroiled in an estate or legal battle or border dispute of some kind. It must take several months at the least, a lot of legal negotiation, at least a dozen solicitors, and I naturally must stay here and assist you the entire time."

"I do not have an estate in England, Lizzy."

"Did I not tell you your father is dead?"

"Yes, but… but… you did not?"

"I did. You have been heir to Longbourn since you came to me. Why do you think I went to so much trouble to teach you to run an estate?"

"Lizzy… Lizzy… Lizzy… you are incorrigible."

"I do my best, Kitty."

* * *

"Kitty, I must again warn you… I may do things that will most assuredly bring down some trouble on you and your family… quite a lot of it, I fear."

"So long as nobody injures my husband or my son, I care not, Lizzy. You have done everything for me. It is time I did something for you. When will you tell me what you need?"

"As soon as Lady Catherine, Anne and Fitzwilliam arrive."

* * *

 ** _Mediterranean Sea – November 1818_**

* * *

"Fitzwilliam, I cannot thank you enough for agreeing to see me. I find the deck of a ship is the only place I truly feel completely away from prying eyes and ears."

"I am happy to be here Elizabeth. I wish… I wish… well, that does not matter. I am happy to see you, my friend, and as you know, I am at your disposal."

"Fitzwilliam, I asked you here for a specific reason. I need to ask something of you, but… but… it is… it is… well, oh, so difficult. I hardly know where to start."

"Take your time, Elizabeth. We will not be to Gibraltar for at least half a day with this odd route you planned. We have time, and I have patience."

" **I do not want to be queen!** "

"My apologies. That came out wrong, Fitzwilliam. I have been working on this problem so long, my mind is muddled."

"So, you _do_ want to be queen?"

"No, the sentiment was correct, I just was not ready to say it."

"How likely is this er… unfortunate… er… position to come to pass."

"Absent a massive intervention, it is nearly inevitable."

"How so?"

"I am… I am… Fitzwilliam, I am like a leaf blowing around in a storm. I am just a simple country girl… a nobody really…"

"You are _not_ a nobody and never have been Elizabeth."

"I thank you, but nevertheless… There are certain… enormous… pressures for me to wed Prince Gustav; at least partially to try to gain control of my lands in England, partially to put my lands here on the continent more in control of the men of the royal family; or maybe just to annoy the Prince Regent. There is also a better than even chance his elder brother will not survive the next year. Almost nobody knows it, and the king refuses to acknowledge the reality, but it is fact. If he succumbs, and I have wed Prince Gustav, he will ascend on his father's death to become King of Sweden… and probably Norway as well, with the way the negotiations are currently going, which would mean…"

"You would be queen! That is… that is… that… … I know not what to say, Elizabeth. Is Prince Gustav a good man?"

"That is the worst part of the entire operation. He _is_ a good man. Among the very best of men."

"Should I wish you jo…"

"Not yet, Fitzwilliam. I said _among_ the best of men. I have another example right here with me."

"I… I… I have not always been so, but I do try, Elizabeth. I learned from the best."

"Yes, your father was a…"

"Do not be ridiculous Elizabeth! I meant you!"

"Oh!"

"It was _you_ who taught me what it means to be true Elizabeth. I owe you the greatest debt of anyone in my life."

"Oh! Well… Thank you Fitzwilliam. That means much to me."

"Elizabeth, you also taught me to… well, to see things that are painfully obvious to one with some discernment."

"Yeeesss…"

"You have brought me here to ease Miss Sofie's heart that will be broken into a thousand pieces when you wed the prince, have you not?"

"How did you? ..."

"Nobody has a better understanding of the costs of doing your duty, Elizabeth. You are here to tell me what your duty is, and ask me to help your friends do theirs."

"Did Charl…"

" **No!** Charlotte is just as reliable than she has ever been, and even if she had confided in Richard, which I doubt very much, I could not pry anything out of either of those that they did not want me to have. I have deduced this from… from my knowledge of the situation, from reading between the lines in your letters, and from what I can see."

"Is it that obvious?"

"It is to me, but I very much doubt it is to anybody else. I have taken to the study of characters, and complex characters are the most interesting… and there is one I study more intently than others."

"So, you know what it will cost me to do my duty… and what it will cost all of us."

"I do, and I will do my duty as well, Elizabeth."

"Could… _Could_ … well, more like… _would_ you be happy with Sofie, knowing that for both of you, it is not a marriage of first choices?"

"We both have character, Elizabeth. We _could_ learn to love each other. We _could_ learn to be happy. Is that what you are asking?"

"It is… one possibility. It is the most sensible possibility… the thing that solves the most problems… the path of the least risk. You of all people understand how complicated it is. Widow to an English Earl, widow of a Swedish Prince, landowner in at least seven countries, caught between the ego and power of two monarchs, several powerful families, and an obscene amount of money. You can understand the pressures."

"I can, and I will not be the one to add more. I will do this gladly, Elizabeth."

"I thank you Fitzwilliam. Thank you for not… for not… for not making me say it. I told Charlotte, but I am not certain I could say the words again."

"For you my friend, anything. As for Miss Sofie, I see a lot of you in her. As for the prince, I admire him greatly. All will be well, Elizabeth… in time."

"Fitzwilliam, I thank you for your forbearance."

"It is my pleasure, Elizabeth."

"You made _that part_ of the conversation bearable, and for that I thank you. Now, I must come to the hard part."

"It gets harder than that?"

"Yes, my friend. I am afraid it does."

"I am at your disposal."

"Before I begin Fitzwilliam, I must… work my way up to my real question with a story… do you mind?"

"Of course not"

"You know my visible story better than anyone. One marriage from family obligation, one through ignorance and stupidity, one from duty to a friend, and one for international intrigue and ego. Every marriage a supposed step up in society."

"Yes"

"Did you know that I have never even been kissed, or held by a man, or even heard any words of true affection except for one sentence from you six years ago. Even Wickham forewent the pleasures of the flesh for the pleasures of my fortune… apparently calculating he could buy all the flesh he wanted with my money."

"You may be surprised, Elizabeth… but I have never…"

" _Never?_ "

"Never."

"A man in your position and you _never?_ "

"For me Elizabeth, it is to be my beloved or nothing. That is just the way I am. Perhaps it is my basic goodness and character, or more likely it is a reaction to growing up with George Wickham and watching my father dote on him, but it matters not. It is who I am. My first kiss will be one of affection, with my betrothed, and that woman shall get all I am and all I shall ever be."

"That is… I am humbled, Fitzwilliam… but I cannot discuss that now. I must be steady to my purpose, and I have a _different_ story to tell you. Please forgive my tears, I have not cried once since… well, let us not bring that up."

"There is nothing to forgive. Shall we continue?"

"Yes. I must tell you _the other_ story."

"Pray, continue, Elizabeth."

"This story begins one warm September evening, exactly seven years ago today, at an assembly in Meryton."

"I noted the date."

"That was the day I made possibly the biggest mistake of my life."

" _I noted no mistakes on your part that day, Elizabeth. Tell me what error you accuse yourself of._ "

"I heard a man slight me, although he did not say anything my mother did not routinely say. I did not pay attention to his countenance, or think that he might have things on his mind, or endeavor to ask him to act the gentleman and apologize, or ask my father to talk to him quietly… I… I… I who claim to abhor gossip set out to drag his name through the mud, just because of my wounded vanity."

"Elizabeth, you did nothing…"

"Please, Fitzwilliam. I cannot get through this if you try to correct me. Please allow me to finish?"

"All right"

"Can you imagine how our lives might have changed had I given you a chance that night? Had I _applied my considerable intelligence_ to learning what might make a man do such a thing? Had I looked at your countenance for something other than what I expected to find? Had I been polite but not simpering to you when I stayed at Netherfield? I missed a chance to form the closest friendship of my life that night, and I only found it again because Lady Catherine would make a stone or a mule look reasonable."

"That is the past, Elizabeth. You had no fault."

"I did not say it was a fault, Fitzwilliam. I just said it was a mistake. We all make mistakes all the time, even with the best of intentions and the best of actions, we still do."

I will agree. You will not allow me the priv…"

"No, Fitzwilliam. I will not. I am a Princess, and you will bend to my well!"

"Insufferable woman"

"Impertinent man"

"May I continue?"

"Of course, Princess."

"You… you… well…"

"Pray, continue my lady."

"The second biggest mistake of my life was when you proposed to me… _No, no, no! Do not say it_ _!_ Yes, we both accept that the proposal was abominable, but I did _not_ have to scar you for life with my reply… do not deny it Fitzwilliam… I know the cost you have paid for that day, the same as I have."

"You are as perceptive as always, but I still cannot…"

"This is my story Fitzwilliam. You can tell me your sad story when I am finished if you insist."

"Very well"

"My third big mistake was one of omission. It happened the very ball when I came out of mourning for Lord Mawbry. I would not disrespect Lord Mawbry by saying anything, but I was finally free… finally able… finally…"

"To what, Elizabeth…"

"In the end, it was for naught, because when it really mattered, I was unable to tell you that I have loved you with all my heart for quite some time. I hardly know when it started, and I was halfway through before I knew it had begun, but my courage failed me when the time came to act."

"Elizabeth. Please, take my handkerchief."

"Three times, Fitzwilliam. In Meryton, I lost your acquaintance and a chance to learn about you because of vanity. In Kent, I threw away the strongest love from the best of man in a fit of pique, anger and pride over a badly worded proposal and never gave you a chance to respond. In London, I lost a chance for true love in a bout of timidity and procrastination."

"Elizabeth"

"Let me finish, please Fitzwilliam."

"Yes"

" _Seven years!_ It has been seven years, and I only truly regret one thing. I have hurt you so many times, and missed so many chances to be closer to you. Nothing else that has happened to me matters in the least against those."

"Elizabeth…"

"No, Fitzwilliam. I had to say that, just to work my way up to my question."

"Very well, Elizabeth… but be forewarned, I shall have my say before we leave this ship."

"As you should. I wish to ask one thing of you Fitzwilliam."

"Ask, Elizabeth. You need not fear me."

"I do not fear you, Fitzwilliam. I fear myself."

"Ask, please"

"Do you think… well… Fitzwilliam… _Do you think you could ever love me again?_ Before you answer, let me make the scope of the question clear. Could you love me enough to weather a scandal of staggering proportions… big enough to have you and I and all of our friends gossiped about incessantly for years… to have our private affairs bandied about in the newspapers as entertainment… a scandal that will affect our prosperity, and possibly our children's prosperity and respectability if any portion of the truth becomes known? It is more than I can ask. It is monstrously unfair to you and to everyone we love who has stood by us these years, but still, I will not allow my timidity to deny me this once to follow my heart, even at the risk of having it crushed. I have waited years to ask this question. I must know the answer. I can live… survive… with either answer, but I must know. _Could you love me again?"_

"Elizabeth… Elizabeth… Elizabeth… You ask the wrong question. I cannot love you _again_ because I love you _still_. Like you, the love came upon me gradually and against my will and against my own objections. I must admit having my pride and vanity and arrogance beat into the ground like a stomping horse was not at the time to my liking; but it was what made me into a man. It was you, Elizabeth, that made me into a man worthy of pleasing a woman. I have my own share of timidity, but I can assure you that had the prince asked you a week later, it would have been far too late. I have loved you all my life, because my life started the day I found I loved you. I will do anything you ask of me. I care not for scandal or the views of others. I would give up Pemberley and go to America if necessary. I would burn my estate to the ground if it would let me have you. Please, no matter what bit of insanity you have dreamed up Elizabeth, let us get on with it because if I do not have an agreement for your hand when we land in Gibraltar, I will throw you over my shoulder and disappear with you."

"Fitzwilliam!"

"I know you worry about the thousands of people dependent on you Elizabeth, but just for once, will you _just_ think of _us_."

"Very well, Fitzwilliam. Prince Gustav and Sofie know what I am planning. I have forewarned Lady Catherine, Anne, Kitty and everyone else I care about. You were the last to know."

"Why is that Elizabeth?"

"In my heart, I had to believe you still loved me, but I could not be easy with it. I could not believe in a love that could survive all… all… all this. I could not stand the idea that I might be your best friend but no longer the love of your life. I determined that if there was _any_ possibility that I could truly return your love, I would ask and take my chances; but I would not burden you with the question unless it was a real possibility."

"How bad will it be, Elizabeth?"

"Perhaps everything will work as I plan, but if anything goes wrong, it can be very, very bad."

"Let us get to it. What do you need me to do."

"Several things. Most immediately, I need you to compromise me."

"In what way?"

"In every way a lady can be compromised by a gentleman. I have, justifiably enough I would argue, developed an superstition about the wedding night. Four dead husbands will do that, so I am going to forego that. I am not taking chances. We will have our wedding night _before_ the wedding. I will explain all after, but I do not intend for either of us to be able to complain about lack of being kissed, or held in affection, or loved in every way a husband should love a wife any longer."

"When?"

"Now!"

"Now?"

"Yes, Now!"

" **Put me down, Fitzwilliam!** … Put me down you big lunk! … Well, on second thought, carry on, my love."

* * *

 ** _Gibraltar – United Kingdom – November 26, 1818 - Dawn_**

* * *

"Lady Catherine, thank you for coming, and thank you for not dragging Anne and Charlotte to this debacle."

"I would not miss this debacle for the world, Elizabeth."

"Aunt Catherine, well met."

"Fitzwilliam, have you done your duty?"

"Every day, Aunt. Every day."

"As it should be, Fitzwilliam."

"Lord Mawbry, would it be unseemly to congratulate you on the death of your worthless cousin?"

"Darcy, you warned me about her… but I must say…"

"Speechless, I see Mawbry."

"Yes, I am afraid so."

"I did not mean to fluster you, my lord… I have learned to be, somewhat callous regarding death of the unworthy, but you would think a princess could learn to curb her tongue."

"You shall not have my censure, ma'am. Could you tell me why we were to meet dawn? It is an unusual time for this sort of thing."

"Safety and superstition my lord, plus we have a great deal to do today."

"Shall we get on with it?"

"Yes. Sir, if you will?"

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"

* * *

"Sign her, if you will Lord Mawbry."

"I thank you, sir."

"And here er… Princess Elizabeth? Lady Mawbry?"

"Do not distress yourself sir. I will lose the title Lady Mawbry when I finish signing, and will be back to being plain old 'Princess'."

"I apologize that the man who worked all these papers out for you was ill, Princess Elizabeth. They all seem in hand, at least the ones I am responsible for. I must say that in my forty years as a solicitor, this will be the most unusual annulment I have ever witnessed."

"You have never seen an annulment for lack of consent?"

"Of course I have… for brides, but never for the groom."

"We must work with what we have, sir. His uncle did actually force his hand, but he is not here now, is he?"

"And who forced his uncle's hand?"

"Quibbles, sir. Quibbles."

"Would it be impertinent to ask why you married the Earl, only to walk to the next room to have it annulled ten minutes later."

"It is all in the wedding contract, sir. It is a bit of a legal fiction, really. Something like what they use to break entails. Lord Mawbry inherited the title on the death of his cousin but not the lands. Now I am returning the Mawbry lands to their rightful and worthy heir. This is the only way I could think to do it legally without giving anyone other than the rightful heir and a man I thought worthy of the late Earl the chance to object or take control."

"Pure genius, Princess. It is pure genius… so simple, so elegant. I doubt the king will be amused though."

"No sir, he will not… but the Prince Regent will be delighted."

'I imagine it is a good thing my colleague and I are both ready for your generous pension, in an obscure and comfortable location, Princess."

"That was part of the plan, good sir."

"Good day, Princess. Good day, my lord."

"Good day, sir."

* * *

"Princess Elizabeth, has anyone ever told you that you are insane?"

"I hear it all the time, Lord Mawbry. I assume Mr. Darcy told you to say that."

"I am afraid so, ma'am."

"Lord Mawbry?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"You are in a church?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And your _true love_ is in the next room?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"With a parson?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Why are you still here? Perhaps, I am not the one whose sanity is to be questioned."

"That was fast."

"I wonder if his clothes will catch fire, Fitzwilliam."

"Shall we carry on to our next bunch of confidants and finish this thing?"

"We should, but…"

"… but"

"Well, I cannot help but feel superstitious, Fitzwilliam."

"In what way?"

"We have not scientifically determined _exactly_ what kills off my husbands before the night is over, but it may be lack of… er… consummation?"

"It seems possible?"

"Lord Mawbry might be in danger!'

"That would not do?"

"I quite like him!"

"As do I."

"And I quite like his… well, probably not betrothed any more… I quite like his wife!"

"As do I."

"Worse yet, I might get all those estates back."

"A terrible fate!"

"We should not take any chances?"

" **Put me down, Fitzwilliam!** … Put me down! Well, on second thought, carry on, my love."

* * *

 ** _Gibraltar – United Kingdom – November 26, 1818 - Noon_**

* * *

"Prince Gustav… Miss Sofia… May I have the unparalleled pleasure of introducing to your acquaintance Lady Catherine de Bourgh and Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy."

"Lady Catherine. Mr. Darcy. We are greatly in your debt. Elizabeth has told us of the er… sacrifice you were willing to make as well as the one you actually are going to make. I fear we are in for some rough waters."

"If you can stand it, my nephew can stand it Your Highness. Miss Sofie, I can see why Elizabeth and your prince love you."

"I thank you Lady Catherine. I appreciate all you have done and will do."

"Think nothing of it, my dear. Shall we get on with it."

"Wise words, Aunt."

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today…"

* * *

"Almost done, Elizabeth my love. One thing I neglected to ask…"

"You are part of this Fitzwilliam, are you saying you were not diligent in attending to every aspect of the scheme…"

"I may have been distracted a bit these past few weeks."

"Well, it is a little late to be checking the plan now, but we have an hour to wait, so ask away."

"Why a divorce from the prince instead of the annulment like you did with hew new Lord Mawbry."

"Two reasons, really. I do not want something the king can easily undo. Can you imagine trying to convince the King of Sweden that his son was forced into marriage against his will? It would be preposterous, and he might well contest it. A divorce though… well, the king will not even let it be broadly known that there was a divorce. It would be terribly mortifyingly embarrassing. Wars have been fought over less. Nobody will ever know except the six solicitors I have had working on it, and the Archbishop, all of whom are honorable and er…"

"And"

"And well compensated."

"Sensible enough. So, the king will have to promote the real match vigorously."

"Exactly. He will not like it, but he will play his part. I think he will even grudgingly admire us. I doubt he will seek to harm any of us in any way. It would reflect badly on him, and in the end, Sofie will charm the old goat into submission anyway. Give her a month at the most."

"I believe so. One more question. You said we must wait an hour. Why that delay, when you timed everything else practically to the minute."

"Who says I did not?"

"So why the delay?"

"I am taking no chances. We need absolute and irrefutable grounds for the divorce."

"What grounds are you proposing?"

"Infidelity!"

"Infidelity!"

"Yes!"

"I hope you are not suggesting Prince Gustav?"

"Not on your life."

" **Put me down, Fitzwilliam!** … Put me down! Well, on second thought, carry on, my love."

* * *

"Sign her, if you will Your Highness."

"And here er… Princess?"

"There, it is done."

"I cannot thank you enough Elizabeth. And may I be the very first to say that I believe I owe you my life and all my future happiness."

"Prince Gustav?"

"Yes, my lady"

"Why are you still here when Sofie is a dozen yards away?"

* * *

 ** _Gibraltar – United Kingdom – November 26, 1818 – 11:07PM_**

* * *

"I now pronounce you, man and wife. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I claim the extreme privilege of being the first to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy."

"Thank you, Archbishop. We could not have done it without you."

"It has been the most diversion I have had in decades, Mrs. Darcy. Never did like King Charles. It has been my privilege."

"Darcy old man, does that I no longer having the privilege of watching you mope around like a half-dead mule?"

"Yes, Richard. My moping days are over. Thank you for coming… thank all of you for keeping the love of my life safe and loved all these years."

"Fitzwilliam, you said I timed everything practically to the minute."

"Yes, I did my love."

"It is truer than you know. See the clock over there?"

"Yes. It is now precisely 11:12PM"

"I paid _very_ careful attention to the time, because I as you well know I am superstitious and I am happy you have indulged me at least… well, more than once these last few weeks. I ask one more indulgence for my fears, if you will oblige me."

"Of course, my love."

"It is now precisely seven years since you first took my hand at the Netherfield ball for what should have been our first dance. May we now do what should have been done all those years ago."

"Of course, my love."

" **Fitzwilliam Darcy… Husband… Put me down!** Put me down this instant! … Well, on second thought, carry on, my love."

~~~ Finis ~~~

* * *

 _A/N: Well my friends, there you have it. I wrote this last chapter while crossing the Atlantic on my way home from holidays. I hope you enjoyed it, far-fetched as it is. The writing style was just a wild idea. My wife has since told me about a couple of books written in this style, and a couple of you have PM'd with examples. I don't think it's going to become my primary mode, but I do kind of enjoy leaving part of the story to your imaginations. I thought this would be a short story, but it's technically a novella._

 _It was far-fetched enough, but technically I think possible. Royalty marrying commoners was not unheard of, but it was very uncommon. It even happened a few times with kings, and more often with princes so there are historical precedents. Marriage between countries was done all the time as a way to forge alliances, etc. so marrying a commoner from another country has happened more than once. Divorce was impossible in Catholic countries, and very uncommon in Protestant countries, but it did happen. Divorce laws started being liberalized just a touch starting about 40 years after P &P except in Catholic countries. Probably wouldn't happen in a royal family, but after Henry VIII you can imagine they made their own rules, and it is not quite impossible._

 _Just in case you lost count, Fitzwilliam is husband number 7, and Elizabeth has no lands of her own at all left, but she would have an enormous dowry. It's not like she can't survive on just Pemberley's income._

 _She was rightly worried about being scorned in society… just about any part of this plan would be like today's tabloids but much worse, and there were a lot of moving parts, so it's entirely likely her worries were founded, but well, don't we all think she deserves a bit of happiness._

 _If you're looking for something new to read, I have a couple of stories by fairly new P &P authors I'd like to recommend. If you like very unusual writing styles and are in the mood for a dark theme, check out __Colors_ _by_ _Laure001_ _. If you're in the mood for a crazy comedy of errors, check out_ _Butterfly Effect_ _by_ _Sushibear144_.

 _Feel free to tell me how you liked it with a review or PM._

 _The Insufferable Man_


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